tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80838320409682298482024-03-18T03:43:09.801-04:00a blanket 2 keepEmily @ablanket2keephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10398858102692984237noreply@blogger.comBlogger209125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8083832040968229848.post-84484817990724348912013-07-08T18:41:00.002-04:002013-07-08T18:41:56.957-04:00what i have been up to in my "free time"Read "free time" as while I'm sitting on my butt pumping.<br />
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Hi everyone!<br />
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I have been so busy the past few months with Squirt and Roo, lots of family visiting from out of state, BBQs, parties and 2 weeks ago our beautiful little miracles were baptized.<br />
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Prepping for their baptism was what was taking up all my "free time" because I took on the crazy task of crocheting their baptism outfits.<br />
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I wrote many times how I always wanted to make a blanket that I would finally keep for my own babies, but I also dreamed of crocheting beautiful baptism outfits for their special day. Something special they could keep, look back on when they grow up and maybe if they have their own children they could wear it too. (I'm still working on the blankets. They probably won't be done till the fall)<br />
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So, today I wanted to share the finished products with you.<br />
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Squirt's outfit had shorts with suspenders and a short sleeve jacket. Those little suspenders and buttons kill me they are so cute! I love how the back loop stitch makes the outfit look ribbed. We found some cute plain white soft shoes for him.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The slip is shorter than the dress, but Roo kept pulling the dress up.</td></tr>
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Roo's dress was a shell stitch so it made a pretty scalloped edge. The cap like sleeves were so big they made her look like she had wings. We found some cute lacy shoes for her. My <a href="http://ablanket2keep.blogspot.com/2011/11/my-guardian-angel.html">Guardian Angel friend</a> made her slip to go underneath. It was so special for her to be a part of it all.<br />
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They were both given hankie bonnet at my shower.<br />
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If you haven't heard of it a hankie bonnet is a handkerchief folded and with a little stitch and some ribbon is turned into a bonnet for them to wear.<br />
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Here is the poem that came with them.<br />
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<i>I am just a little hankie, as square as can be;</i><br />
<i>But with a stitch or two, they've made a bonnet out of me. <br />
I'll be worn home from the hospital, and on special days,</i><br />
<i>And then I'll be carefully pressed and neatly packed away. <br />
Then on the wedding, I have been told, <br />
Every well dressed Bride must have something old. <br />
So what would be more fitting than to find Little Old Me, <br />
A few stitches snipped and a wedding handkerchief I will be. <br />
And if per chance, it is a boy, someday he still will wed. <br />
So to his Bride he can present the handkerchief once worn upon his head.</i><br />
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That poem makes me cry every time I read it.<br />
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It was such a special day with family and friends. We invited everyone in our little church to celebrate with us. While they were in the NICU everyone was asking about them and praying for them. My Mom kept them updated every week with pictures, weights and milestones. I was told how they celebrated every little oz they gained and every little milestone they hit. After my Mom would give the update they would all clap.<br />
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I am crying so hard right now. Tears of joy. I know blessed I am and feel how much we love them, but knowing how much they are loved by everyone else is overwhelming.<br />
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I wanted to thank everyone again for all the thoughts, prayers and well wishes for them. All the support you gave me even though I have been MIA for so long.<br />
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Now that things have calmed down and we are on a really good schedule, I will be around more often. I miss everyone and can't wait to catch up on all your lives.<br />
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Emily @ablanket2keephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10398858102692984237noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8083832040968229848.post-73622412556286346692013-05-07T14:30:00.000-04:002013-05-07T14:30:43.605-04:00finally a little updateHi everyone! Sorry it has been so long. It has been a crazy and sometimes stressful few months but Squirt and Roo are home and doing great!<br />
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Every day I am amazed at how far we have come. They were so tiny and now they just seem huge!<br />
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I wanted to write a quick little post to let you know how they are doing and finally share some pictures. Between taking care of them and exclusively pumping for them I don't have much time to write and read. Things are slowly getting easier so hopefully I will be able to write more often soon and catch up on all your lives.<br />
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So here they are!<br />
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Squirt was born at 3lbs 2oz and is now 7lbs!!!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Squirt in the first week</td></tr>
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Roo was born at 1lb 7oz and is now 5lbs!!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Roo in the first week</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The night Roo came home</td></tr>
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<br />Emily @ablanket2keephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10398858102692984237noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8083832040968229848.post-11466995534370392602013-02-16T09:51:00.000-05:002013-02-16T09:51:48.954-05:00our twins are here!!Hi everyone! Sorry I am only getting to a post now. I saw someone put my news on <a href="http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.com/2013/02/769th-issue-of-lfca.html">LFCA</a> and a bunch of people clicked over. Thank you to whoever informed them and I hope I haven't kept everyone too worried. Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers and well wishes!<br />
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First off both babies are doing great in the NICU! They were born via c-section on Friday February 8th during the big blizzard. I was 30 weeks 4 days and and U/s showed that Roo had not grown in 2 weeks and had little or no diastolic placenta flow. I am going to introduce them to you and do an update on how they have been doing over the last week. Hopefully some time this week I can get together their birth story post.<br />
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Let me introduce to you our little miracles. I'm going to use their names once and then I will refer to them as Squirt and Roo like I have been this whole pregnancy.<br />
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Baby A, who we nicknamed Squirt is a boy. He was born at 4:08 pm, weighing 3lbs 2oz and measuring 16 inches long. We named him Ca.lvin Alf.red.<span id="goog_436048979"></span><span id="goog_436048980"></span><br />
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Baby B, who we nicknamed Roo is a girl. She was born at 4:09 pm, weighing 1 lb 7oz and measuring 13 inches long. We named her Ro.byn Edi.th.<br />
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When Squirt was born he was screaming and breathing pretty well. They put him on a CPAP after a little bit when his breathing became labored. His oxygen setting started at 40% and has slowly been lowered over the past week. There were times it was lowered and then needed to be raised back up for a day. He is now at 21% which is basically room air setting. He still needs the CPAP for pressure. Whenever he get's taken off the CPAP to get weighed and washed he does better each time.<br />
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He was on phototherapy for jaundice for a few days, but came off Friday. It is so nice to see his face a little more again. When he was on the phototherapy his face was covered by those "sunglasses" to protect his eyes from the light.<br />
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Up until Wednesday he was getting all his nutrition from the IVs. He still has the IVs and will for a while, but was started Wednesday on a little colostrum squirted in his cheeks every 2 hours. He loved it and did so great on it they started him on a gravity feed of my breast milk through a tube on Thursday. He started off at 1ml every 3 hours and is now up to 6ml every 3 hours! If he keeps doing as good as he is they increase 1ml a day. Today he should be on 7ml every 3 hours.<br />
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We actually got to hold him for the first time yesterday!!! Since he has been doing so well when he is off the CPAP for a short time, they took it off, swaddled him up and handed him to us. He was still on the IVs and all the sensors. It was the most amazing feeling finally having him in my arms! We have been able to touch him, change his diaper and comfort him over the past week, but always inside his incubator while he is hooked up to everything and his head was always covered with a hat and face with CPAP and "sunglasses". We were finally able to see his whole head and face for the first time since birth. We finally got to see that he has medium blonde hair like me. I took every second in. Every little expression, sneeze and yawn. He liked being in our arms and did so well. So relaxed and his oxygen saturation stayed at 100%! He was awake for a while looking up at us. I can't wait to do it again!<br />
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When Roo was born she was crying a little, but put on the CPAP right away because she was so tiny. Her oxygen setting started and has stayed at 21% from the beginning! She seems to only need help with the pressure. We are told she does well when taken off to be weighed and washed, but only for a short time before her breathing gets labored again.<br />
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She was also on phototherapy for jaundice, but came off Thursday. It is so great to be able to see most of her face again. Because she is so tiny, when she had the "sunglasses" on top of the CPAP her face was completely covered. Couldn't see anything. Now we can see her eyes again. Her coloring is getting a lot better. When she was first born she was so red. Over the past week her skin has gotten lighter and lighter. Her coloring almost looks like a normal newborn now.<br />
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She was also started on my colostrum on Wednesday. Just a little in her cheeks too. She also loved it and did great with it. On Thursday when she was started the 1ml gravity feed she did good for some of the day, but then was having some stomach issues so it was stopped to let her belly rest. They kept her off it yesterday, but will try again today. We were told this is common because of her size and we could go back and forth many times before she has solid feedings.<br />
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We are absolutely amazed each day by how far they have come already. I had calmly prepared myself for them being on vents and not being able to touch them for a while. I had no doubt in my mind that they would make it and thrive, but I prepared for worse. Every day the nurses and Drs don't have much to say about them other than they are moving along and what they do have has been good or some little setback that was expected. They tell us often how amazing they are doing. We look at each other shocked at the little strides they are making and we celebrate each one. We praise our little ones and tell them what a good job they are doing. They are our little fighters! We are so proud of them!Emily @ablanket2keephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10398858102692984237noreply@blogger.com42tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8083832040968229848.post-26044437225189301182013-02-04T11:42:00.000-05:002013-02-04T11:42:42.715-05:00prayers for another uncleFirst I want to update you on my Uncle that I have told you about a <a href="http://ablanket2keep.blogspot.com/2012/08/prayer-request.html">couple</a> <a href="http://ablanket2keep.blogspot.com/2012/11/updates-on-purcey-and-my-uncle.html">times</a>. He was diagnosed with leukemia in August. The bone marrow transplant was postponed for more chemo, but he just had it after Christmas and is doing great! Thank you again for all your thoughts and prayers for him.<br />
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A couple of weeks ago my Uncle B (Dad's brother) was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer in his appendix and intestines. A few days ago they did emergency surgery and removed a lot, but found more than they thought. They put chemo in his abdomen and originally thought that would do it. Since they found more he will have to go for more chemo and maybe more surgery. He has been extremely sick and it will be a long hard recovery.<br />
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This is really hitting our family hard. Especially my Nana. She may not be his real Mom, but she raised him along with my Dad and her own 2 boys when my Nana F abandoned them. I wrote a little about that in the <a href="http://ablanket2keep.blogspot.com/2012/08/the-ultimatium-part-1.html">ultimatum</a> post. Losing a child at any age is unimaginable and she has already lost 2, my Dad and one of her sons almost 30 years ago.<br />
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Please send good thoughts, prayers, light or whatever you can. I really appreciate it.Emily @ablanket2keephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10398858102692984237noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8083832040968229848.post-54097015083026638702013-01-27T12:48:00.001-05:002013-01-27T12:48:48.870-05:00mentally preparing for my showerThroughout this pregnancy whenever I thought about a shower for these babies I would have a little moment of panic. It was never panic about jinxing the pregnancy, even though there have been times that I was <a href="http://ablanket2keep.blogspot.com/2012/12/on-fears-and-fighting-that-old-pull-of.html">anxious about getting to viability</a>. It was panic about the attention and other things.<br />
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I have never liked to be the center of attention. I am the person who is in the background sitting quietly or in a big group, not the center. I was a complete mess at my bridal shower. I was anxious, sweaty and shaking the whole time. It was actually difficult to enjoy myself. It didn't help that I was caught off guard. My family throws surprise showers. (I was completely calm at our wedding because the Hubby was there and I could block out everyone else)<br />
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Along with not liking the attention, the thought of a baby shower for OUR babies is utterly SURREAL to me. My family and friends celebrating our babies. Babies that have been wanted for so long, we have worked so hard for and who are so special to us are special to others. Why is that thought so difficult for me to grasp?<br />
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My psyc says it goes back to a bunch of things that we have talked about including not being emotionally taken care of enough growing up and not feeling deserving. I grew up putting all others first and when it comes to something for me I have a hard time with it. I also have an extremely difficult time asking for things so the thought of registering and asking people to buy us stuff makes me very uncomfortable.<br />
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I talked to the Hubby about all of this too. We obviously knew we would be having a shower, but we didn't know when. Well, I didn't know when, he probably did. I told him about the anxiety and how surreal the whole thing was. How I felt like I would have a difficult time enjoying it because I would be an emotional and anxious mess. Both my psyc and Hubby suggested that I need to take care of me and if I would be more comfortable knowing about the shower then I should talk to my Mom.<br />
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I thought about it for a while and decided that even though I would love a surprise shower, I would be more comfortable if I knew when it was and was able to mentally prepare for it. I was planning on talking to my Mom when she came over one day, but instead I got a surprise. Just before she was to come over I got the mail and inside was this.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My Mom is very excited about the "two by two" on the invite.</td></tr>
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An invite to MY baby shower! I immediately started crying. Tears of joy, gratitude, relief and so much more than I can put into words. My Mom walked in the door to me bawling my eyes out. She got worried that something was wrong, but I told her it was because I got the invite. I told her how I had been feeling and that I was planning on talking to her that day about it not being a surprise. She said she has had a feeling about all of it for a while so she had called the Hubby and asked him about it. When he confirmed her suspicions she and my MIL decided to send me an invite and not have it be a surprise. She also half jokingly told me that I shouldn't worry about the attention because none of this is about me! Hehehe! It's all about the babies! That made me laugh and actually feel better. I have been keeping that thought in my head and it's getting me through. All the attention is on Squirt and Roo, not me. The shower is for Squirt and Roo and not me. I will be an invisible floating belly at the shower! I like thinking about the last one!<br />
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Since I found out when the shower is I have been able to work things out in my head. I don't feel panic anymore when I think about it. I don't feel like I will be an emotional and anxious mess when I am there. I know it will still be very emotional, but an amount that I will be able to handle.<br />
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I still had a very difficult time doing the registry. I just can't ask people to spend money on us, but with lots of pushing and help from my Mom and Hubby we finally got it done. I have been told our registry is kinda boring since we basically put the bare essentials on it, but I did go back and add a couple things just for fun that made the Hubby and I happy. I call that a little breakthrough.<br />
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Now I am actually getting excited about it! February 16th is going to be a great day!Emily @ablanket2keephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10398858102692984237noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8083832040968229848.post-66777409606970898722013-01-23T22:14:00.001-05:002013-01-23T22:14:27.934-05:0027-28 weeks<b>Due date:</b> According to my ovulation day my due date is April 16, 2013.<br />
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<b>How far along?:</b> 27-28 week <br />
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<b>Total weight loss/gain:</b>
The day before the IUI I was 206. As of Tuesday morning I was 230. In
the last 2 weeks I have gained 3 lbs and a total so far of 24 lbs. Looks like I have gone from about 3 lbs a week to 1 1/2 lbs. I haven't changed my diet at all (actually eating more ice cream than before) so I guess they are going through a growth spurt and stealing all my calories again. As long as they are growing!<br />
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<b>What's going on with the babies?:</b> We talked to Dr Monty about how we were feeling about the last scan. I didn't realize just how upset I was till I started talking to him. That last tech really made me uncomfortable. Monty did and U/s himself and took some measurements. We were very surprised that they both turned head down! According to him they are very close in size so he doesn't know how the tech got such different numbers. He talked me down and made me feel a lot better. He said for twins they still look like they are in singleton range as far as size so they are definitely growing nicely. I called the peri office, told them about my bad experience and made sure I never have that tech again. Hopefully at our next U/s on Friday we will get some more detailed info and some pictures to share. It's been a while since we got some.<br />
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<b>What's going on with my body?: </b>Since they turned head down all the pressure on my stomach is gone! I went from waking up in the middle of the night with bile and acid coming up to absolutely nothing! It was a trade off though. Now I have a ton of pressure on my bladder. Their heads are really pushing. Been peeing a lot more and have unfortunately <a href="http://ablanket2keep.blogspot.com/2013/01/looks-like-i-peed-bed.html">peed my pants and the bed</a> when they really push. The Hubby and I find it pretty funny though.<br />
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<b>What does the belly look like?:</b> I have been told by my family that my belly doesn't look very big for twins. I personally have no idea. My cousins all stuck out pretty far with one so I guess they are comparing me to them. I think I figured out that I don't really stick out too far because my belly is pretty wide. They are basically staying side by side so it makes sense. The stretch marks are getting pretty bad, but they don't bother me anymore. My body is doing what it needs to do to let these babies grow big and strong so I will embrace it. I finally <a href="http://ablanket2keep.blogspot.com/p/roo-squirt.html">posted a new belly pic!</a> I have been so bad at remembering to take pics for myself. Gonna try to take more. Oh I just remembered I do have a 24 week pic from Christmas. I will have to get a copy!<br />
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<b>Maternity clothes: </b>I had to get the next size up in pants. My old ones still fit, but they are getting tighter by the week so I know I will need the new ones to get to the end of the pregnancy. They are very comfortable and still a little too big. I know I will grow into them though.<br />
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<b>Movement:</b> It is so crazy how much they are moving now. Sometimes feels like they are awake most of the day. My belly gets majorly lopsided and ripples all the time. It's so fun! I have been trying to catch it on video, but they always seem to stop as soon as I hit record. If I ever get it I will share it with you.<br />
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<b>Sleep:</b> I have been sleeping so well. I only wake up once to pee and once to roll over. It is getting very difficult to roll over in bed. I laugh when I catch myself grunting while I do it.<br />
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<b>Cravings/aversions: </b>Strawberry ice cream has been a big craving recently. I'm trying not to eat it every night, but sometimes the babies want what the babies want! :)<br />
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<b>Sex of the babies:</b>
We will not be finding out the sexes till they come out! My family
sometimes says they don't believe us that we don't know. They think we
found out and just aren't telling them. I promise, we have no idea. No
Dr or tech has even checked yet. No one knows! I know Dr Monty will be
checking at some point before we deliver just so he knows who is coming,
but he won't be telling anyone.<br />
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<b>Names:</b> We have a
list of about 10 names of each. We are slowly narrowing it down to 3 or
4 of each. My family have started to make suggestions on names. Some
have actually guessed some on the list, but we are keeping them a secret
till we name them.<br />
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<b>What I miss: </b>Still missing sex. 15 weeks and counting. :(<br />
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<b>What I am looking forward to:</b> Nesting has really started to kick in and I am excited to really get things ready.<br />
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<b>Mood and emotions:</b> I think the hormones have increased because I have been pretty weepy. Random things are making me cry both happy and sad. Before this past week it was very rare and now it's almost every day.<br />
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<b>Milestones:</b> I am in the 3rd trimester!!! <br />
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<b>Medical concerns:</b> Nothing right now which is nice.<br />
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<b>Sex?:</b>
Nope<br />
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<b>Best moment of the week:</b> Getting an invitation to my own baby shower! Working on a post about it.<br />
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<b>Hows Daddy?:</b> It is really cool seeing him learn new things about babies. He hasn't had any experience except holding them when they are a little older. Seeing him practice things like swaddling and diapering gets me so excited! <br />
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<b>Nursery: </b>I really need to get going on it. We don't have furniture and stuff yet, but we still have things to clear out of there.<br />
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<b>Blankets to keep:</b> I decided to do my cousin's blanket first. I want to make sure hers in done because I have a feeling things will be getting a little crazy closer to her shower. She is only 3 weeks behind me so there is a good chance I will be just about ready to deliver and maybe on bed rest or I might be home with newborns!Emily @ablanket2keephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10398858102692984237noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8083832040968229848.post-75401820871628453412013-01-23T20:45:00.000-05:002013-01-23T20:45:01.301-05:0026 weeksI wrote this 2 weeks ago and forgot to post it, so I will be doing a double post today.<br />
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<b>Due date:</b> According to my ovulation day my due date is April 16, 2013.<br />
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<b>How far along?:</b> 26 weeks <br />
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<b>Total weight loss/gain:</b>
The day before the IUI I was 206. As of Tuesday morning I was 227. In the last 4 weeks I have gained 12 lbs and a total so far of 21 lbs. Even though I am still in normal range for weight gain for a twin pregnancy and Dr Monty hasn't said anything to me about my weight, seeing it come on fast like that is kinda crazy and a little difficult. I know I'm eating healthy and my babies are growing well so that's all that really matters.<br />
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<b>What's going on with the babies?:</b> As far as we know the babies are doing well. The results of the big anatomy scan came back good. Squirt seems to be a week bigger than Roo and the perinatologist hasn't said anything about being worried even though I think the gap is getting bigger. The last time we were there the tech was silent. Placentas and umbilical cords have good flow. I'm trying not to worry, but we haven't actually met the peri yet, just U/s techs each time we go. We hear results secondhand 2 weeks later from Dr Monty. I know they are keeping a good eye on them, but we have been there every 2 weeks since 12 weeks and still haven't met the peri. We are getting more U/s than most and I feel like we have less info. I will be talking to Dr Monty about it when I see him Tuesday. I just want to hear directly from the peri that everything is fine.<br />
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<b>What's going on with my body?: </b>I have really slowed down now. I can still do what I used to, but everything takes a little longer. The babies have moved up a lot and I can definitely feel more pressure on my stomach and lungs. I find myself taking more deep breaths throughout the day. Heartburn is basically gone during the day, but has come on full force at night. Squirt and Roo seem to slide up into my ribs when I lay down and put lots of pressure on my stomach which usually ends up waking me up with stomach acid almost in my mouth. I usually have to get up, eat crackers, water and tums to get rid of the burn and end up coughing a while from the feeling in my throat. I don't have any real swelling in my legs, feet and hands, but by the end of the day my legs do feel a little tight.<br />
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<b>What does the belly look like?:</b> The belly is now large and in charge! Stretch marks are here in full force. They are only on my belly so far. A few inches to the sides of my belly button and they run up and down. I know they look and feel so much better than they would if I wasn't massaging coco butter on them every day. Even though they are getting larger, they are staying light in color and aren't painful or itch at all. I remember how horrible they can feel from past ones I have had. Coco butter is amazing! I still have an innie belly button, but it's definitely getting more shallow. I wonder if it will ever get to the point of being flat or out.<br />
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<b>Maternity clothes: </b>I finally bought some real maternity shirts. A bunch of basic v neck, long sleeve, cotton/spandex ones and a really pretty <a href="http://www.motherhood.com/Product.asp?Product_Id=99455940003&MasterCategory_Id=MC1">blouse with birds on it</a> that I wore for Christmas. Everything was on sale and I got some bump bucks that I will be using this week to get another pair of jeans and underwear. I have finally gotten to the point where my undies aren't working anymore. I have been looking at dresses too. Part of me wants to get one. I want to dress up for a change and really feel pretty. We will see.<br />
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<b>Movement:</b> They are moving so much now! Kicking and flipping all over the place. We can totally see and feel it from the outside! I can feel them getting stronger and I can't wait till I can see body parts dragging across my belly. I don't think it will be long.<br />
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<b>Sleep:</b> Hubby and I splurged and got a king size bob o pedic. We used to have a very old queen mattress and the Hubby was basically using my belly as an arm rest at night. It is absolutely amazing! We have so much room and the mattress cradles my body so well I don't need any pillows! I just put one between my legs so my hips don't hurt. Every once in a while I still cuddle up with my snoogle though.<br />
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<b>Cravings/aversions: </b>I wrote a while ago about my <a href="http://ablanket2keep.blogspot.com/2012/03/march-photo-challenge-day-6.html">love/hate relationship with bananas</a>. Since being pregnant the relationship has been one of hate. Just the thought of them made me sick. All of a sudden last week I had a craving for one. I was a little hesitant because the texture usually makes me gag. I finally gave in and at one and now I can't get enough of them! That is so crazy to me! I have also been craving anything strawberry.<br />
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<b>Sex of the babies:</b> We will not be finding out the sexes till they come out! My family sometimes says they don't believe us that we don't know. They think we found out and just aren't telling them. I promise, we have no idea. No Dr or tech has even checked yet. No one knows! I know Dr Monty will be checking at some point before we deliver just so he knows who is coming, but he won't be telling anyone.<br />
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<b>Names:</b> We have a list of about 10 names of each. We are slowly narrowing it down to 3 or 4 of each. My family have started to make suggestions on names. Some have actually guessed some on the list, but we are keeping them a secret till we name them.<br />
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<b>What I miss: </b>I am back to really missing sex. It's been 13 weeks.<br />
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<b>What I am looking forward to:</b> Getting the nursery ready. I am starting to get into nesting mode. I have so many ideas for sewing projects. I think I might make my own crib skirts and curtains. I just need the Hubby to set up my sewing machine again.<br />
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<b>Mood and emotions:</b> Since passing 24 and 25 weeks I have been feeling really good. Relaxed and calm. I have been feeling kinda emotional and overwhelmed at the thought of my family throwing me a shower. Working on a post about it.<br />
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<b>Milestones:</b> I'm past viability and getting close to the third trimester! <br />
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<b>Medical concerns:</b> Kinda worried about Roo being smaller, but we will talk to our Drs soon.<br />
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<b>Sex?:</b>
Nope, and I am really missing it again. I did finally get the nerve to ask Dr Monty if we could. He told me not yet, but he will let us know when. He just wants to wait a little longer. Maybe in the third tri? We will see. I have a feeling by the time we are allowed to I will be too big and uncomfortable.<br />
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<b>Best moment of the week:</b> Getting our new bigger bed and we splurged on new couches. Everything was very old and falling apart.<br />
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<b>Hows Daddy?:</b> He is doing great! I can tell he is getting really excited about the babies. He can really feel and see them move now and loves to have his hands on my belly. I think he might be starting to nest too. He is making it a priority to finish all the little things around the house that have been sitting for a long time.<br />
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<b>Some funny/cute things Hubby has said (at least I think they are): </b>He has been coming home and telling me about conversations he is having with his coworkers about the babies. It is so cute to hear how excited he is and all the funny things they talk about. Interesting name choices, usually coworkers suggesting their own names and all the funny and gross things that come with pregnancy.<br />
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<b>Nursery: </b>We finished registering, but other than cribs and a dresser we didn't put anything on for the nursery to decorate. I have had a bunch of ideas of sewing some things. We will see what happens over the next couple weeks. Maybe I can get my ideas into action.<br />
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<b>Blankets to keep:</b> I think I have finally decided on what blankets to make Squirt and Roo. Going out this weekend to get the yarn and get started. I also will be getting yarn to make a blanket for my cousin D who is about 4 weeks behind me and having a girl. It only took me a day to figure out what to make her. Took me 20 weeks to figure out what to make for our babies. Sheesh!Emily @ablanket2keephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10398858102692984237noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8083832040968229848.post-46620260148640287352013-01-22T13:14:00.000-05:002013-01-22T13:14:27.325-05:00role reversalLike so many of you, Since TTC and through this pregnancy I have gotten countless shots in my belly and butt. Lots of follistim, ovidrel and progesterone. Some I gave myself, some my Dr gave, but most of them were given to me by my dear sweet Hubby.<br />
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He always did a great job and stepped up when I couldn't do it myself because I was too emotionally invested in the cycle. It was a way for me to step back a bit and lift some of the pressure. Now, the roles are reversed.<br />
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When TTC, we found out that on top of my anovulation the Hubby had a low sperm count due to low testosterone. He was put on clomid and it worked great. Clomid is not something his Dr wanted him on for a long period of time so when I hit 12 weeks pregnant he was weaned off it. To keep him healthy and feeling good he was put on testosterone replacement. There are 2 major options, topical gels and IM injection.<br />
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With the topical gel I would have to be careful around him and make sure I don't come in contact with the gel on his skin so we decided the injection was the best idea at least while I am pregnant.<br />
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His Dr gave him the first couple and since then it has been my job. I get to give my Hubby a big shot in the butt! The testosterone suspension is thick! A lot thicker than progesterone so it takes a lot longer to inject. I know the Hubby hates needles. He doesn't freak out about them, but he definitely doesn't like them. Now, I get to be there and do something for him that he can't do for himself.<br />
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I'm glad we decided on the injection. He feels great on it.Emily @ablanket2keephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10398858102692984237noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8083832040968229848.post-41018002392333030092013-01-17T18:10:00.000-05:002013-01-17T18:10:41.843-05:00looks like i peed the bedYup, you read that right.<br />
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Around 11 this morning I woke up with a wet spot on my sheets about the size of my hand. I didn't freak out and just went down the checklist of what I am supposed to report and figure out if it was amniotic fluid. TACO.<br />
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T- time it happened<br />
A- amount of fluid<br />
C- color of fluid<br />
O- odor of fluid<br />
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I wrote down the time and that the spot was about the size of my hand. It was only on the sheet since we have one of those waterproof mattress protectors on the bed. I couldn't tell what color it was (Stupid colored sheets!) and it didn't smell like anything. I calmly told myself it wasn't first morning urine and I have been drinking a lot of water so my urine has been pretty clear.<br />
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I was fine till I called the Hubby. Cue little freak out and tears. Told him about the wet spot and how I didn't know what it was. He said he would leave work and I called Dr. Monty. I told them about the fluid and how I wasn't leaking, contracting or in any pain and there was no other discharge. He was in a delivery and the receptionist would try to get a hold of him. She called back and said she couldn't, she would keep trying and he would be in the office at 1. If he was worried he would have me come in to get swabbed so they can test if I had any amniotic fluid in my vagina.<br />
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While I waited I did what I was supposed to. Rested on my left side, drank a bunch of water and felt for any contracting. I felt nothing. Hubby came home and we waited for the call.<br />
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A little after 1 we got a call back. He said he wasn't worried and it was most likely urine. I did the right thing to call and he wants me to call just like I did with any changes. He knows I keep on top of things.<br />
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We had seen him on Tuesday and the U/s showed that both Squirt and Roo had flipped head down. Since then I have been having a lot of pressure on my bladder and more of an urgency to go. Everyone thinks that they probably were dancing around in there a lot while I was sleeping and made me pee.<br />
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Thank you children! That was so nice of you! This wasn't the first time I have peed my pants and it probably won't be the last.<br />
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Just like it was said after the <a href="http://ablanket2keep.blogspot.com/2012/10/14-weeks-modified-bed-rest.html">bleeding scare at 13 weeks</a>, you two are grounded! You are not to come out of your womb till April!!!Emily @ablanket2keephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10398858102692984237noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8083832040968229848.post-41699050322531303072013-01-04T21:25:00.002-05:002013-01-04T21:25:21.881-05:00viability, the best Christmas present ever!Christmas morning I woke up feeling amazing. I was calm and felt so connected to Roo and Squirt again.<br />
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We made it, 24 weeks! Viability!<br />
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Now, I know this doesn't mean that we are out of the woods, but I am not thinking about that anymore. Reaching 24 weeks did an amazing thing for me. It brought me back to a good place. It brought back my faith. I truly believe these babies will be coming home with us. We will cuddle them and watch the perfect little combination of the Hubby and I grow into their own little people.<br />
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New Year's morning I woke up in an even better place. 25 weeks! 2013. A new beginning, a fresh start. I made it a point to put all the old, scary thoughts behind me for good. I don't really make resolutions, but decided to make a few positive changes that make me happy.<br />
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Every morning I take the time to just be with my babies. I talk and sing to them. I "play" with them. Every night I make sure the Hubby get's his time with them. I am taking it one day at a time and taking in every moment.<br />
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I also am making an effort to get back to blogging. I realized how I have disconnected from this community and I hate that I have and feel horrible how behind I am on everyone's stories. I promise I am back and can't wait to catch up with everyone. <br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">I know I'm late, but I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and wishing you a safe and healthy New Year! Praying 2013 brings you the desire of your hearts!</span></b>Emily @ablanket2keephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10398858102692984237noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8083832040968229848.post-17676693917483105542012-12-20T02:52:00.001-05:002012-12-20T02:52:29.896-05:00on fears and fighting that old pull of depression<i><b>I just wanted to warn everyone this is a pretty long post where I talk about depression and the fears of miscarriage. I am extremely blessed and grateful to be pregnant, but I am allowed to have my own feelings and fears and I need to let them out. I am not very eloquent and things don't always come out right. I can ramble on and not be very clear sometimes. I hope you understand and I am sorry if anyone takes it as being ungrateful. That is not how I feel.</b></i><br />
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I have been in a strange place over the past month and I couldn't figure out what was going on in my brain. At first it obviously was being upset about Purcey and fighting hard to make sure I didn't slip into that old depression, but I could also feel something pulling me back from really embracing my babies like I had done for the first 19 weeks or so. Until I got past that pull of depression and my subconscious let me in through a dream last week, I had no clue that others losses in this community had affected me so much.<br />
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I haven't really talked about it much on my blog. I have mentioned depression and how I was going through bouts of it at different times in this journey, but other than emails with other bloggy friends I don't think I have ever mentioned being diagnosed when I was a teenager and being on prozac till about 4 years ago, when my situation had changed. I had moved out of my Mom's house and away from our horrible, destructive, mentally abusive relationship. (Only after I left could we really work on it) I was happy and being on the prozac while basically happy made me feel like I had no emotion. I couldn't cry when I felt I needed to. It made me feel numb. I then decided I needed to go off of it so my Dr weaned me off. There were a few times during our IF journey that I thought about going back on it, but I had that fear of what the meds would do to my baby when I did get pregnant. I know now how the benefits of me being mentally in a good place totally outweigh the low risks of the meds on babies in utero.<br />
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After Purcey died, every once in a while I could feel that old pull of depression. The difference between this time and all the other times was I could actually feel it and recognize it and it scared me. All the other times in the past the depression just came. I slipped easily into those dark places and didn't feel and recognize it till it was too late. I was so shocked at how I felt it and could actually work it out in my head that this was depression trying to sneak up on me and actually do something about it.<br />
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I remember the moment I realized it. The day after he died I was in bed. After crying for a while I felt numb and then I felt the depression. Being able to recognize it scared me. I could remember what it had done to me in the past. How it kept me in bed. How I pulled away from so many people I loved. How horrible I felt physically and it scared the shit out of me. I know going back there was something I didn't want to do, but I remember even more so it scared me to do that to my babies.<br />
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"Hell no am I going to let my babies feel that horrible depression! It was bad enough that I went through it I don't want them to have to!" Ran through my head. I totally give all the credit for what I did next to my psyc and my babies. My psyc for the past year and a half of working with me and teaching me how to deal with everything and my babies for just being there and saving me.<br />
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As soon as I made the decision that I would not do this to Roo and Squirt. I hopped right out of bed and frantically worked out what I needed to do. The truth was I had no clue what I needed to do so I just focused on the babies. Even if it was just a distraction it would be enough to fight that pull. Over the next few days I kept busy with anything and everything for the babies. If I couldn't find something to keep me busy in the house, I left the house. I reached out to my family and had them help me keep busy. And you know what? It worked and I am completely amazed at myself.<br />
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Over these past few weeks I have really done a good job of pushing it away and not letting the depression effect me. I have worked through it with my psyc and gotten back to a good place, yet I still felt something pulling me away from my pregnancy. Almost a disconnect. It was very subtle and felt like it was hidden. I love and thought about my babies all the time, but there was still something there.<br />
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A few nights ago my mind finally let me in. That feeling of disconnect was deep and my subconscious finally explained it to me in a dream. <i>In my dream I was somewhere between 20 and 23 weeks and my water broke.</i> Then I woke up.<br />
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I remember waking up from that dream in a complete panic checking my sheets for wetness or blood and rubbing my belly and mentally willing my babies to move. They did and I calmed down. Subconsciously I have been fearing losing my babies and I think it only surfaced now because of where I am in the pregnancy. I am a week away from that 24 week mark that can give so many of us a little sense of relief. <br />
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Being infertile you know too much. Being in this amazing ALI community you meet and connect with so many wonderful people. You get amazing, life changing support that I will forever be grateful and in debt to you all for and you are able to give of your heart to others which I am grateful to be able to do. Unfortunately in this community there is a lot of heartache and suffering. People you love have to go through things that you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy and even if you personally have never experienced it, it can stick with you.<br />
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I wish everyone out there with angel babies never had to go through what you did, but I never wish that I wasn't a part of your lives and your story. I don't regret reading your posts and crying and praying for you. I would never take any of it back. I pray that I haven't upset anyone. I love you and I don't want anyone to be upset because I am expressing my fears. <br />
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I finally got to talk to my psyc today about it. Finally realizing my underlying fear, where it was coming from and why I was a little disconnected made me feel a little better. We connected it to other things I have gone through in my past too. Even though these fears are still in the back of my mind I know how blessed I am to be where I''m at. I love these babies with all my heart and I am so grateful that I have connected with them so much already.Emily @ablanket2keephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10398858102692984237noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8083832040968229848.post-62661481172975180122012-12-18T19:54:00.000-05:002012-12-18T19:54:21.011-05:0018-22 weeks<b><i>I'm sorry I have been so lazy about posting updates! I actually wanted to do this for myself and I have let myself down. I am actually 23 weeks now, but wrote most of this last Tuesday. I will post this one now and my 23 week tomorrow. There are new pics.</i></b><br />
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I can't believe it's been 5 weeks since I last posted an update! As soon as we found out Purcey was sick, thinking about this pregnancy kinda went on the back burner. I mean I always thought about my babies and took care of myself, but most of my daily thoughts were with Purcey and taking care of him and I'm glad I did.<br />
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<b>Due date:</b> According to my ovulation day my due date is April 16, 2013.<br />
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<b>How far along?:</b> 18-22 weeks <br />
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<b>Total weight loss/gain:</b>
The day before the IUI I was 206. This morning I was 215. Over the last 5 weeks I have gained 8lbs. These babies have grown a lot and so has my belly!<br />
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<b>What's going on with the babies?:</b>
We got all the results for the NT scan and bloodwork back in the past weeks and everything looked good. I didn't get numbers or our % chance because I don't want to focus on that. My babies seem healthy and are growing well. That's what's important. We had and anatomy scan days ago and they are looking good. About a pound each and measuring just under 22 weeks. I have 2lbs of baby in there now! Their most recent heart rates were at around 170bpm each. When their heads were measured the tech said "they have good sized heads" in a tone that made it sound like they were big. They Hubby and I looked at each other and I laughed. I know Squirt and Roo are going to have big heads. The Hubby's noggin is huge! Hehehe.<br />
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Finally posted more U/s pics on the <a href="http://ablanket2keep.blogspot.com/p/roo-squirt.html">Squirt and Roo page</a>.<br />
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<b>What's going on with my body?: </b>Overall I have been feeling pretty good. I only get heartburn at night when I eat something really spicy like the jambalaya I made last night. Not making that anymore! It's just starting to get a little difficult getting up off the couch. I think it's more because I don't want to bend too much and squish the babies. I'm probably just crazy, but it makes me feel better LOL! I am definitely starting to slow down a bit. Things like showering take me a little longer now and overall I think I'm just taking my time more. My boobs have gone through major changes these past few weeks! I am pale pasty white everywhere so I had absolutely no color on my areolas and my nipples were small and pretty light. Now they really stand out. It's kinda crazy. They Hubby was shocked when he saw the changes.<br />
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<b>What does the belly look like?:</b> It's getting bigger! I still have a bit of a crease at my belly button. Just this week I started to get some small red spots and little stretch marks below my belly button. I knew it was coming and its just gonna get worse. I prepared myself early for them since they were inevitable. I obviously won't like the way they look, no one does, but I think I am more worried about how they feel. I hate that stretched sore skin feeling. I hated it when I was at my heaviest and so happy when I dropped a little weight and the soreness went away. Hopefully all the cream I am using will help a bit with any soreness. It's definitely getting rid of the itchy skin.<br />
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<b>Maternity clothes: </b>I still only have maternity pants and the 1 top from my bestie. I can still wear my old t shirts, but I really should go shopping. I just don't like spending money on myself. I will have to go get at least 1 top for Christmas. Hoping my family get's me some maternity clothes or gift cards to the stores so I can shop for free!<br />
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<b>Movement:</b> Squirt and Roo have definitely been moving a lot more. Mostly just stretching out so I get steady pressure. On December 1st we got our first real kick and it came at the best time. I wrote about it <a href="http://ablanket2keep.blogspot.com/2012/12/the-babies-know.html">yesterday</a>. I still don't know who is moving when since they seem to be changing positions a lot. Every time we have an U/s they are facing a new way.<br />
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<b>Sleep:</b> Still sleeping great with my Snoogle pillow. I do wake up sometimes to change positions and go pee, but can usually go right back to sleep.<br />
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<b>Cravings/aversions: </b>Since my aversion to sweets went away, my main craving has been for cinnamon rolls. Most things are still too sweet for me, but for some reason cinnamon rolls aren't. Kinda strange. I have only given in to the craving twice with little ones from the grocery store, but over the past few days I have been really craving a big one from cinnabun. I have been really good about eating right so I don't know why I don't treat myself every once in a while.<br />
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<b>Sex of the babies:</b> We will not be finding out the sexes till they come out!We always make sure we tell the tech ahead of time that we aren't finding out and I tell them that if they are going to peek to tell me to close my eyes since I know what I am looking at. No one has checked yet. The Hubby asked me if I would be really upset if someone slipped and told us. I have no desire to find out, but won't be upset if someone slips. We are going to try and make sure they don't but if it happens there is nothing we can do about it.<br />
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<b>Names:</b> I finally got my name book back from my cousin and we have gotten through the girl names. We have about 10 girl names and 5 boy names right now. Once we get through the second half of the book we will work on narrowing it down to 3 or 4 of each. We want to have options and see what Roo and Squirt look like before we name them.<br />
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<b>What I miss: </b>I miss being treated normally by my Mom and MIL. They treat me like I can't do anything. Yes, I have restrictions, but I am allowed to lift some things and I don't have to be sitting 24/7! When I am around them I get yelled at if I lift anything even a grocery bag with only bread and chips in it and they make me sit all the time! I know my own limits. Thank goodness the Hubby trusts me. He helps out a lot and does anything for me, but knows I can do things and lets me.<br />
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<b>What I am looking forward to:</b> I am really looking forward to Christmas this year. Last year I <a href="http://ablanket2keep.blogspot.com/2011/12/i-found-my-christmas-spirit-in-pot-of.html">didn't want to decorate</a> or do much of anything. It was too overwhelming getting everything out and doing the things I so badly wanted to do with my own children. This year I am blessed to be pregnant. I can't wait to decorate and be able to happily daydream about next year with our babies.<br />
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<b>Mood and emotions:</b> It has been a rough month for me with everything going on with Purcey. I still don't feel like I am back to myself and I probably wont' be for a while. I am currently working on a post about how I have been feeling. Depression can still rear it's ugly head even if you are pregnant and happy.<br />
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<b>Milestones:</b> I hit 20 weeks! The halfway point. Most likely more than halfway since we are having twins, but basically halfway! <br />
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<b>Medical concerns:</b> Nothing really. Just working with my psyc to get through some rough stuff mentally.<br />
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<b>Sex?:</b> Nope, but I got up the nerve to ask Dr Monty if just maybe orgasm would be ok without penetration. I figured the answer would be no since I am still on modified bed rest. He actually told me not yet, but he will let me know when I can again! He just wants to wait a little longer. I am really excited knowing there is a chance that we could get back to it at some point before being 6 weeks postpartum which could be July.<br />
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<b>Best moment of the week:</b> The best moment yet was feeling some real kicks for the first time.<br />
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<b>Hows Daddy?:</b> He is really loving my belly now. I can tell how excited he is about the babies and getting ready for them.<br />
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<b>Some funny/cute things Hubby has said (at least I think they are): </b>The Hubby's new thing is every morning he tells them to be bad for Mommy, kick me really hard and jump on my bladder a lot. They seem to listen to him!<br />
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<b>Nursery: </b>We started to register this past week, but we have gotten nowhere with the decor. I think their room is just going to be eclectic. Touches of lots of different things.<br />
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<b>Blankets to keep:</b> I wanted to thank everyone for all their comments and ideas when I posted about <a href="http://ablanket2keep.blogspot.com/2012/10/finally-time-to-make-blankets-to-keep.html">not knowing what to do for our babies blankets</a>. We still haven't picked out patterns, but we have it narrowed down. Hopefully we can figure it out soon and I can start crocheting.Emily @ablanket2keephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10398858102692984237noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8083832040968229848.post-6968664298696027112012-12-11T12:01:00.000-05:002012-12-11T12:01:20.649-05:00the babies knowI totally believe the babies know what is going on outside of their comfy little womb. They can sense my emotions and react to it. I had thought about it for a while just wondering if they could, but I got an answer that blew my mind a little over a week ago.<br />
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The day before <a href="http://ablanket2keep.blogspot.com/2012/12/godspeed-my-sweet-purcey.html">Purcey passed</a>, the Hubby and I were watching him in pain and made the decision to help him pass peacefully. It was the most difficult decision we ever had to make and was very upsetting. That day the Hubby and I spent a lot of time just cuddling together and taking care of Purcey. We were both pretty upset.<br /><br />
While we were in bed watching a movie, I felt a real kick for the first time! I quickly put my had on my belly and felt it again from the outside too! Then, I grabbed the Hubby's hand and put it on my belly. He had to wait for a bit, but he ended up getting the biggest kick yet! I actually felt the really hard kick against his hand. His eyes got huge, his face lit up and he kept saying things like "WOW that is crazy and so cool!" Up until then I had only been feeling the babies stretching out. Slow steady pressure, no sharp movements.<br /><br />
I really think they knew how upset we were and wanted to remind us they were there for us. Maybe they were saying a little goodbye to Purcey. All I know is it blew my mind. They gave us something we didn't even know we needed right when we needed it. Just like <a href="http://ablanket2keep.blogspot.com/2012/08/purcey-knew-i-was-pregnant-before-i-did.html">Purcey knew I was pregnant</a>, I think the babies will always know Purcey. Subconsciously they will always know him by the warmth and pressure of him "keeping them warm"* and the vibration and sound of his purring through my belly.<br />
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*The Hubby always told Purcey to lay on me and "keep the babies warm".<br />
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<span style="color: lime;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." </span></b></span><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/xGytDsqkQY8?rel=0" width="640"></iframe>Emily @ablanket2keephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10398858102692984237noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8083832040968229848.post-2560027365017143232012-12-04T17:32:00.000-05:002012-12-04T17:32:06.372-05:00Godspeed my sweet PurceySaturday morning we took Purcey to the vet and helped him pass peacefully without pain. I obviously cried, but the Hubby cried too. That was the first time I have ever seen him cry in almost 10 years of being together and it broke my heart.<br />
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I think this is the most difficult thing I have been through. I haven't been able to stop crying since Saturday. He was my furry baby for 12 years and now he is gone. The house feels empty. I keep expecting him to jump in bed with me in the morning when the Hubby gets up for work or greet me at the door when I get home, but he isn't there. I get up in the morning and feel kinda lost because I am used to going into the kitchen to feed him, but there is no one to feed. I miss his tiny squeak of a meow and his cuddles.<br />
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I know I just have to remember that it was better than him suffering and being in any more pain than he was already. That I saved him from a shelter and gave him a home and a full life. One that could have ended at 7 months if we hadn't adopted him. I need to believe that he knew how much he was loved and how much he is missed.<br />
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The Hubby told me that he believed that just like in my dream that my Dad and Poppy were there to welcome him and give him all the head scratching that he likes. My bestie told me that my babies are lucky to have another guardian angel watching over them.<br />
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I have been thinking over the past few days that I need to honor him in some way. I was thinking about getting him an ornament for our Christmas tree. We actually adopted him right after Christmas and he always loved sleeping under the tree and looking at the ornaments every year. I am going to have to look around.<br />
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Godspeed Purcey baby. We miss you.<br />
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Emily @ablanket2keephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10398858102692984237noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8083832040968229848.post-12952000227587252212012-11-29T19:16:00.000-05:002012-11-29T19:16:54.182-05:00really beautiful and kinda sexyThis morning was like any other weekday morning. The Hubby got up, showered and got ready for work while I dozed in and out of sleep. When he was ready to leave he gave me a kiss, told me he loves me and said see you later. Then, he moves onto the babies. He folded the covers down and I rolled slightly onto my back. He kissed and hugged my belly and told the babies he loves them and he would see them later.<br />
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What happened next was very different.<br />
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First, I do need to say that I sleep in the nude. I bet you really wanted to know that, but it is important to the story. Anyway, after he talked to the babies I reached for the covers again and stopped when I saw my body. I was lying somewhat between on my side and my back with my top leg slightly more bent than the other. My arm was stretched out over my thigh reaching for the blankets. My belly was resting on my body pillow.<br />
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Without any hesitation "that is really beautiful and kinda sexy" ran through my head. No second guessing or taking it back.<br />
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I stayed in that position for a minute and just stared at my body. I was smiling.<br />
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I haven't really said much about my body image on this blog. If you have seen pictures of me and read my updates you know that I am overweight. I have been all my adult life. I have tons of old stretch marks, that fanny pack of fat in my lower belly that hangs a bit and that big crease at my belly button that cuts my middle in half. Over the last couple of years I got healthy and even though I was still overweight I was comfortable with my body. I liked the way I looked.<br />
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When I finally got pregnant I wasn't worried about gaining weight. I wanted to make sure I gained enough and the babies would be healthy. Then, a couple of weeks ago every time I looked in the mirror all I saw was how I looked at my heaviest. I just looked fat. Realistically I knew that I was pregnant and even though I had belly fat, there was lots of baby under there, but it brought back how horrible I felt at my heaviest. It brought back when all the huge stretch marks showed up. I remember how big, red and sore they were for so long and I cried.<br />
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Yup, I'm not proud of it, but I broke down and cried to my Hubby. I was trying to get out how I felt in between sobs. "I don't want you to think I'm ungrateful being pregnant, but I'm upset. I don't have a nice figure, but what I do have and worked to get back to is gonna be gone. I have big old stretch marks and they are just going to get bigger. I feel stupid and guilty that I am feeling like this. Not being able to have sex with you doesn't help either. I can't even get my sexy back that way. I love these babies, but I want my body back for me"<br />
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I felt better after I let it all out. The Hubby made sure I knew that he had now doubt that I love our babies and would do anything for them, but he can only imagine how hard it is and he understands the best he can.<br />
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Even though I felt a little better letting it all out, those thoughts came in and out of my head over the last few weeks until this morning.<br />
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Something clicked. Seeing my pregnant body sprawled out in all it's glory, I felt really beautiful and kinda sexy. I am really starting to love my pregnant body. I know some old thoughts will come back when I get bigger and the red stretch marks show up, but I think embracing my body now will keep me in a good place for the rest of the pregnancy.Emily @ablanket2keephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10398858102692984237noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8083832040968229848.post-66233454939257090842012-11-27T14:20:00.000-05:002012-11-27T14:20:41.223-05:00updates on Purcey and my UncleHi everyone!<br />
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Thank you all so much for all your thoughts and prayers for Purcey. Your comments brought me to tears and gave me the support I needed.<br />
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Sorry I have been gone for so long. I've been having a very difficult time watching Purcey slow down. There are days that he acts like his old self and it gives me false hope. The next day he usually goes back to not eating much and sleeping all day. The tumor is growing fast and his face is looking lopsided now. He doesn't like his tongue touching the tumor so it now hangs out of the left side of his mouth. He looks so cute and kinda funny with his tongue hanging out.<br />
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Since he can't really clean himself anymore his fir is getting a little matted in some areas. I have been trying to comb it out with my fingers since he doesn't like to be brushed. I also have been cleaning him a couple times a day with wipes. I hope it is making him more comfortable.<br />
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Yesterday, while the Hubby and I were eating lunch, (thank goodness he was home) we saw Purcey licking his paws and he was covered in blood! All over his face, paws and the floor. I knew it was his mouth so we cleaned him up and went to the vet. The vet said it definitely is the tumor. Apparently when a tumor grows in a cat's mouth it grows very irregular and very close to the surface so it can bleed often. When it does it should stop pretty quickly, but if it doesn't then bring him in. I have found a few bloody drool spots on the floor today. It will probably keep bleeding on and off from now on. I'm glad he doesn't seem to bother him and he isn't in pain.<br />
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I also wanted to give you an update on my <a href="http://ablanket2keep.blogspot.com/2012/08/prayer-request.html">Uncle</a>. Over the past few months he has gone through rounds of chemo and responded very well. He just went back into the hospital for the last, but new treatment. He is having a bone marrow transplant. His brother is a match. From what I heard it's not a regular transplant. It sounds newer and different. Sorry I don't remember the details, but they are very positive about this working well and being the last thing he needs just to top off the treatment. He will need to stay in the hospital for a while because his immunity will be way down. We are praying he will be out before Christmas and feeling great!<br />
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Today I am 20 weeks! I am working on an update since I haven't posted one since 17 weeks. I have kinda put myself on the backburner since taking care of Purcey. I am slowly getting back to me and even more the babies.Emily @ablanket2keephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10398858102692984237noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8083832040968229848.post-34174855979594660752012-11-16T16:39:00.000-05:002012-11-16T16:39:01.756-05:00our dear sweet Purcey is sickOn Monday we took Purcey to the vet. He seemed to be having a difficult time eating his crunchy food and his breath started to smell a bit. To me all of this pointed to a tooth issue. He has had tooth infections before and even had a couple removed, so we figured that was it.<br />
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As soon as the vet looked in his mouth he knew it wasn't his teeth. Our dear, sweet kitty has a fast growing inoperable tumor in his mouth/jaw. The vet told us we could treat, but he didn't feel it would do any good. The treatments would be rough on him. Or vet's suggestion was to keep him as happy and comfortable as we can and bring him in if he stops eating or has trouble breathing so he doesn't suffer anymore.<br />
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I immediately burst into tears and have been on and off since Monday. Back and forth between an emotional mess and feeling completely numb.<br />
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The vet didn't give us a time frame. It could be days, weeks or even months. In the past week he has lost a lot of weight, been sleeping more, eating less and because the tumor is messing up his mouth he has basically stopped cleaning himself. He doesn't seem to be in pain, just really annoyed by this growing thing in his mouth and all the drool he has now. I have been giving him as much wet food as he will eat. I tried giving him some older cat milk like supplement, but he won't drink it. As a treat we usually give him some cold cut ham. He seems to still love that so I am giving him a slice a day. I want him to be happy and ham seems to make him happy.<br />
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He has always been spoiled, but now we let him do whatever he wants. Eat what he wants and sleep wherever he wants. We always gave him a lot of attention, but now he gets every bit of it when he is awake. We let him sleep with us now. We used to lock him out of our bedroom because he was known to throw everything off our dressers. Now every night he sleeps with his head and paws on my belly and his bottom half on my body pillow that I lay against. Since I have been pregnant, the Hubby has always told Purcey to lay on me and "keep the babies warm". He seems to be taking this job seriously now and I am loving every minute of it.<br />
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Purcey has been my baby for almost 12 years. How do you sit and watch someone you love slowly get sicker and weaker and then have to decide when it is time to say goodbye and pray he hasn't suffered? I wish I could read his mind or he could talk. Does he know what is going on? Is he in pain? Is he scared? Does he know how much we love him and are going to miss him when he is gone?<br />
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I also have this irrational fear that he is going to be mad at me. For what, I am not exactly sure. Maybe for ending his life if it comes to that. Maybe for not doing everything in our power to make him better even though it could make things worse. Maybe for something that I did or didn't do. I have no clue, but its eating me up inside.<br />
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I don't want to leave him home alone in case he needs me or takes a turn for the worse, but another part of me wants him to have his time. I have heard how some people hold on and won't pass because they have their family around them. They hold on to life and suffer because their family can't let them go. I don't want that for Purcey. If he does pass on his own I want it to be as peaceful as possible.<br />
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A couple of nights ago I had a dream that gave me a little bit of peace. The Long Island Medium (yes I watch that show) called me and told me my Dad and Poppy came to her. They said that they are waiting to welcome Purcey and that I can let go. He will not be mad at me. We have given him a wonderful life and he loves us. They also told her that they are watching over the our babies and are so happy for us. They also know the sexes of the babies, but aren't telling LOL! That last part made me laugh.<br />
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The dream brought be a little peace, but I am still having a very difficult time with this. I have never experienced someone slowly getting weaker and sicker. Everyone who has passed around me has been quick and unexpected. I have never experienced slow suffering and have never had to put a pet down.<br />
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If you would, please keep Purcey in your thoughts and prayers that he doesn't suffer and will let us know when it is time.<br />
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I'm not sure when I will feel like posting again. This is draining me. Hopefully I will soon, but for now I am catching up on all of you. I love you guys. I hope you know that. I really should tell you more often.Emily @ablanket2keephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10398858102692984237noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8083832040968229848.post-83403080560827327892012-11-11T22:34:00.001-05:002012-11-11T22:34:16.032-05:00PIO shots and the end of sexy time as we know itSince my little <a href="http://ablanket2keep.blogspot.com/2012/10/my-trip-to-er.html">bleeding scare</a> a little before 14 weeks, I have been taking a 200 mg prometrium pill a day. I was only taking them while I was waiting for my once a week PIO shots to start. Dr Monty had me go through a nursing group who comes to my house to give me the shot. Unfortunately my insurance will only cover for them to come twice. I figured I would get the shots from my mail away pharmacy and the Hubby would give them to me. So many of you out there do it that way and you are doing it every day. I would only be getting it once a week. When I told Dr Monty he said he wanted me to get the injections and bring them in for him to give to me. I have no problem with him giving them to me, but I asked why he didn't want the Hubby giving it.<br />
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I believe all of you out there are doing it right and I don't want to worry anyone, but Dr Monty said that if it is given in the wrong place it can mess with your leg. Make it go numb or other things I guess if you hit a nerve. My Dr is very cautious and wants to make sure he does everything in his power to keep his patients happy, healthy and safe. I love that about him. I pray no one every has any issues with your PIO shots and I hope I didn't worry you now. You guys amaze me how you go though it every day for months.<br />
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So, I had my first PIO shot the other day. I am getting progesterone in castor oil 250 mg/ml in a 1 ml dose once a week. How does that compare with what you guys get every day? I have read from you guys lots of ways to prepare the site and positions to get the shot to make it as painless as possible. I asked the nurse about icing the area before and she said she didn't recommend it because the oil will thicken as it goes in. I asked about heat or massage after and she said I could do heat only if needed, but absolutely no massage. I figured I would lay down for the shot to keep my muscles relaxed. Instead she showed me a way to stand that moves the muscle to the correct position and makes it impossible for your muscle to tense up.<br />
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Stand behind a chair and lean on the back of it with your elbows. Keep your feet flat and turn your toes in toward each other as far as you can comfortably. Apparently this position moves your muscle to the perfect position and with your toes turned in it is impossible to tense up your butt. I tried before she gave it, you can't! I haven't experienced a shot in any other position, but when I got it I didn't feel the needle at all and only had a little bit if stinging once all the PIO was in. After the shot we sat down to go over some paperwork and by the time she left about 20 min later, the injection site looked and felt like nothing had happened. There was no lump of oil and it wasn't sore at all. I was shocked that there wasn't a bruise because I bruise very easily. The next day there was only a little blue right at the injection spot.<br />
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At my last OBGYN visit my Mom and MIL came with me since the Hubby was on a business trip. I desperately wanted to ask him if I was off of the modified bed rest and even more so if I was allowed to have sex again. Since my moms were with me, straight out asking was off the table.<br />
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At the previous visit I asked if I had all the same restrictions and without even saying it Dr Monty knew what I was asking. A big smile showed up on his face and he said "You are asking if you can have sex." I just smiled and then he turned to the Hubby and jokingly asked "Has she been chasing you around the house?" We all laughed because it basically is true even though I haven't really been chasing him around the house.<br />
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So, this time instead of actually asking, I just asked if I am still to take it easy. Dr Monty basically replied that yes I will be taking it easy for the rest of the pregnancy. I take that as no more sex. :( That means it will probably be about June/July before it happens again.<br />
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You all know how happy and blessed I am to have these babies inside me and I will do anything for them, but I'm not gonna sugar coat it. Not being able to make love to my Hubby is really difficult for me! I know there are many other ways to connect and be intimate, but no sex sucks!<br />
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When we were dating and before we started TTC it was care free, fun and no pressure. When we were trying, even though we tried really hard to keep it care free, there was always that elephant in the room. Always that pressure. As soon as I got pregnant it went back to the way it used to be. That amazing care free fun that we hadn't experienced in 3 years. It was really nice and now it's gone. Heck, we can't even have the pressure filled, less fun sex.<br />
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I'm not proud of it, but I actually broke down into tears the other day about it all. The Hubby and I have a wonderful, beautiful relationship, but not being able to connect with him on that level right now is really difficult. Right now, when I keep feeling our love get so much deeper and I have all these amazing new feelings toward him. It is upsetting.<br />
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The Hubby feels so bad about how difficult it is for us. A little more for me than him since I take good care of him. He is trying so hard to be extra caring and tender toward me. Doing what he can to help us feel more connected and reminding me how this is not forever and who we are doing all this for.<br />
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I just have to keep reminding myself that I am doing the best thing for Roo and Squirt. Being careful and helping to keep them safe and in there as long as possible so they can grow big and strong and come home with us.Emily @ablanket2keephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10398858102692984237noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8083832040968229848.post-26174490809152210732012-11-09T09:46:00.000-05:002012-11-09T09:46:10.000-05:00crochet show & tell: baby blanket #5In all the craziness of the past few months I forgot to post about the blanket I made for my cousin K. I wrote about being at her baby shower and how I followed the cool <a href="http://ablanket2keep.blogspot.com/2012/08/the-pattern.html">pattern of being pregnant at a shower</a>.<br />
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Without further ado, here is the blanket.<br />
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K didn't find out the sex of her baby so this was the first "neutral" blanket I have made. Thank goodness she had a plan for the baby's room. She went with primary colors. They painted the walls yellow, red curtains with white polka dots and touches of blue in the rocking chair and bedding.<br />
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I first chose red, yellow and blue with the white, but then I felt it needed something else so I added green. I did a classic crochet ripple then added a thin raised strip of color in between every 3 rows to create the thin ripples. I did a thin edging with white. Truthfully, while I was making it I wasn't really excited about the colors, but when I finally added the thin ripples it came together. K and her Hubby loved it so that is all that matters.<br />
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K had a beautiful little girl. I will be calling her Little S on the blog. This is the first girl. Great grandchildren 1-6 have all been boys! K finally broke the streak with #7. Everyone was so excited. Especially our Momma and Poppa. They have been not so patiently waiting for a girl.<br />
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Now that everyone's itch has finally been scratched with Little S, everyone's need for girls has gone through the roof! Everyone in my family is convinced that I will be having 2 girls to bring up the numbers LOL!<br />
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So, now I have to get down to it and figure out the next 2 blankets I will be making for my own babies and then one for my cousin D who is due a month after me.Emily @ablanket2keephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10398858102692984237noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8083832040968229848.post-55917655976004183182012-11-07T22:27:00.001-05:002012-11-07T22:27:17.134-05:0016-17 weeksBecause of Sandy I never did a 16 week update so I will combine the past 2 weeks. I also finally put up the most recent ultrasound pics from week 16 and a new bump pic on the <a href="http://ablanket2keep.blogspot.com/p/roo-squirt.html">Squirt and Roo page</a> since my belly finally looks different. I only popped this past week.<br />
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<b>Due date:</b> According to my ovulation day my due date is April 16, 2013.<br />
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<b>How far along?:</b> 16-17 weeks <br />
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<b>Total weight loss/gain:</b>
The day before the IUI I was 206. This morning I was 207! I gained almost 4 pounds in 2 weeks and I am finally above my pre pregnancy weight. I guess these past 2 weeks of sitting around doing nothing actually made me gain weight. I did pop within the last 2 weeks so it looks like all the weight is in my belly.<br />
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<b>What's going on with the babies?:</b> I saw Dr Monty at almost 16 weeks. He did an U/s and we saw our beautiful babies again. Their heart rates were good and even though we didn't get measurements, we could see they had grown. They were sitting facing each other. Dr Monty was laughing because they were horsing around in there kicking and punching each other a lot! I hope they get it out of their systems while in there or we are gonna have our hands full with kids beating each other up LOL! I was really surprised at how high they are now. Roo was actually sitting right behind my belly button! He/she was actually being a little stinker hiding in just the right position that there was a shadow from my belly button right over the heart. Roo finally moved so we could get a good shot of the heart, but not till after playing around with us. We got a really cool face pic. Roo was looking right at us and you can see a little skeleton face. It is really cute.<br />
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<b>What's going on with my body?: </b>Week 16 was pretty much business as usual, but this past week I had horrible heartburn. It was mainly while we had no power from Sandy and we were eating things that I didn't eat often. Once I got back to my usual diet the heartburn wen away for the most part. Also this week my gums started to bleed a bit when I brush.<br />
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<b>What does the belly look like?:</b> I finally popped this week! I still have a crease at my belly button, but it is getting more shallow. I seemed to have popped more above my belly button and I actually look round now! I finally put a new belly pic up since it finally looks different.<br />
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<b>Maternity clothes: </b>I have to wear maternity pants all the time, but I can still wear all my t shirts since they were bigger even before I was pregnant. My bestie looked through her maternity clothes and gave me a fitted t shirt that would fit me. I haven't tried it on yet, but it should fit. I might wear it for Thanksgiving if I don't feel like going shopping for a maternity top.<br />
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<b>Movement:</b> Every few days I feel a little push from inside like a head, hand or foot is stretching out. It's still light, but definitely pushing. I am not so patiently waiting for more movement!<br />
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<b>Sleep:</b> I have been sleeping great! Still love my snoogle pillow!<br />
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<b>Cravings/aversions: </b>My aversion to sweets is almost completely gone! YAY!!! I had a cupcake and a piece of pumpkin pie this past week! No real cravings, just enjoying everything I eat!<br />
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<b>Sex of the babies:</b>
We will not be finding out the sexes till they come out! I decided to
add a poll to the side so everyone can guess who we have in there. I
always found guessing fun!<br />
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<b>Names:</b> We have a good
list going and I am having a blast looking up names for our children!
We won't be naming them till we see them so we will be keeping the names
a secret.<br />
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<b>What I miss: </b>I miss sex. I hope I can go off this bed rest soon.<br />
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<b>What I am looking forward to:</b>
I am looking forward to the U/s at Dr Monty on Thursday and at the perinatologist on Saturday. I can't wait to see Squirt and Roo again!<br />
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<b>Mood and emotions:</b> I was pretty anxious and worried last week especially while Sandy was coming through. I knew we were safe and would be fine, but being pregnant makes me get a little irrational in situations like that. The over protective feeling you get for your babies is crazy. I'm a little worried and upset today too. They Hubby left yesterday on a business trip. This is the first time he is away while I'm pregnant and I am not liking being so far from him.<br />
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<b>Milestones:</b> My belly popped! <br />
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<b>Medical concerns:</b> Nothing right now.<br />
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<b>Sex?:</b> Nope. I'm still on modified bed rest and it's really starting to get to me. It's been over a month! Every time the Hubby kisses me I get weak in the knees! I hope the restriction is lifted soon, but if it isn't I will get used to it. I will do anything for these babies or not do for that matter.<br />
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<b>Best moment of the week:</b> All the comments I got when I wore my maternity skeleton t shirt. I put a pic up on the Roo and Squirt page.<br />
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<b>Hows Daddy?:</b> Daddy as really connected with the babies since I popped. He puts his hands on my belly all the time now, kisses it and talks to them more often. He has been really attentive and worried about me when Sandy came through and the week we had no power. Now that we have the snow storm coming through he really hates that he is away from me. Daddy is pretty upset he has to miss the U/s at Dr Monty tomorrow. This is the first Dr visit he will miss, he has been to every one. Thank goodness he will be back for the big U/s on Saturday at the perinatologist.<br />
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<b>Some funny/cute things Hubby has said (at least I think they are): </b>This time I am going to tell you about a funny preggo brain thing that involved him. The other day while the Hubby was putting on his socks he called me into the room. He held up the pair and said "I don't think this is going to work". In one hand was his big tube sock, in the other was one of my little ankle socks! I had matched them together! I couldn't stop laughing! Talk about a total brain fart!<br />
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<b>Nursery: </b>I have been thinking about ideas for the nursery and I don't think I am going to do a theme. We will have lots of different furniture and decor coming it from when we were kids so it will be pretty eclectic. I love teddy bears so I may bring some of that decor in with mobiles and sheets. We will see. I will have to see what is out there and what I like.Emily @ablanket2keephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10398858102692984237noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8083832040968229848.post-59361897714003938632012-11-05T21:24:00.000-05:002012-11-05T21:24:06.605-05:00a belated happy halloween!Hi everyone! I'm back. We were lucky and got our power back on Saturday. There are still a lot of homes around my area without power and even more people all over the east coast who have suffered some devastating losses. We were extremely blessed that everyone in my family and friends are safe and even if they still don't have power, they can stay with people who do.<br />
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Halloween was postponed in my area due to Sandy. Halloween night the Hubby and I welcomed my bestie, her hubby and their 1 year old Little Z to stay at our house. Even though we had no power, we still had hot water, a fireplace for heat and a gas stove to cook. Our friends apartment temp dropped drastically without heat and then their water was shut off with no idea when it would come back. They stayed with us a few nights and then my MIL stayed with us a a couple nights.<br />
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On Friday the Hubby and I went to a big jack o lantern blaze. A walk through path surrounded by more than 5,000 individually carved glowing jack o lanterns. It was beautiful! Lots of them were stacked on top of each other to create archways, dinosaurs, ghosts, witches, and many other things. I didn't bring a camera so I could just walk through with the Hubby and enjoy. We did, but I had to take one picture with my phone. I love giraffes!<br />
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Tonight was my town's Halloween. A bunch of streets are still without power and they didn't want kids on the dark streets, so they did what they call "trunk or treat". Everyone handing out candy parks their car in the school parking lot, pops their trunk, decorates for Halloween and all the kids go from trunk to trunk trick or treating! It was great! They did the same thing last year due to the <a href="http://ablanket2keep.blogspot.com/2011/10/finally-home.html">October snow storm</a>, but I didn't know about it.<br />
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I love Halloween! Decorating, dressing up and handing out candy. Even when I was still in the trenches I loved to see all the little kids in their costumes and dream of when I could share all the fun Halloween stuff I loved as a kid with my own kids. I can't wait till next year!<br />
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Happy Halloween everyone!!!Emily @ablanket2keephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10398858102692984237noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8083832040968229848.post-86856209764437750302012-10-31T06:37:00.001-04:002012-10-31T06:37:10.456-04:00after sandy<div><p>Hi everyone.<br>
I'm typing this from my phone so I don't know how it will come out.<br>
Sandy was a bitch but we are safe. We were hit pretty hard but thank goodness no flooding like last year with Irene. We had extremely high winds that uprooted and snapped trees and power lines so we have had no power since Monday night and we are hearing we might not for 7-10 days. None of my family has power either. 1 of our 3 story evergreen trees in our back yard snapped in half and landed in our neighbors roof. Everyone is safe but it was very scary.<br>
The babies are doing fine and probably happy as a clam in there since they are nice and warm and have no clue what is going on outside my uterus.<br>
Hubby and I have been staying warm with our fireplace, cooking on our gas stove and spending our nights reading, crocheting and playing card or board games by candlelight.<br>
Hope everyone out there is warm and safe. I am thinking about you often.</p>
</div>Emily @ablanket2keephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10398858102692984237noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8083832040968229848.post-48204755043043935702012-10-23T22:17:00.001-04:002012-10-23T22:17:13.793-04:0015 weeks<b>Due date:</b> According to my ovulation day my due date is April 16, 2013.<br />
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<b>How far along?:</b> 15 weeks<br />
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<b>Total weight loss/gain:</b> The day before the IUI I was 206. This morning I was 203.6. Either my scale is broken or I am staying completely the same! I hope these babies are getting enough nutrition. Trying to stuff my face with healthy stuff all day.<br />
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<b>What's going on with the babies?:</b> As far as I know Roo and Squirt are kicked back and relaxing in there. Busy growing. From head to tushy they should be about 2.9 inches (7.4cm). According to my book, they can now sense light and their inner ear bones have formed enough that they can pick up sounds! This makes me so happy! I am going to be talking to them a lot more now!<br />
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<b>What's going on with my body?: </b>I have had no bleeding for over a week! I hope it stays that way! My sense of smell has kicked into uber high gear and random smells are now making me gag. I think they may be going through a growth spurt because for a few days I was exhausted no matter how much I slept.<br />
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<b>What does the belly look like?:</b> I could tell it was getting bigger just by my regular jeans being uncomfortable now, but it didn't really hit me till this week. I was doing a little *ahem* landscaping and I realized I couldn't bend or *ahem* see as much as I used to. Sorry if that's TMI. I will put up a new belly pic tomorrow when the Hubby can take a pic of me.<br />
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<b>Maternity clothes: </b>This was the first week of wearing maternity pants all the time. They are comfortable, but I think it will take a little while for me to really get used to them. Maybe when they form to my body better and definitely when I get bigger. Still wearing my regular tshirts. I always wore them bigger so it will be a while till they are too tight.<br />
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<b>Movement:</b> Every once in a while I think I feel something and then I doubt myself. I know for a fact I felt one of them on Sunday. It was so different, I think one of them may have flipped. The feeling surprised me so much, I did one of those inhale gasps in the middle of church. Thank goodness it was quiet!<br />
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<b>Sleep:</b> I have been sleeping great! Still love my snoogle pillow!<br />
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<b>Cravings/aversions: </b>I think my sweets aversion might be almost over! The thought of a cupcake sounded great this week so I tried a mini one. It was still a little too sweet for me, but I got it down without feeling gross after!<br />
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<b>Sex of the babies:</b> We will not be finding out the sexes till they come out! I decided to add a poll to the side so everyone can guess who we have in there. I always found guessing fun!<br />
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<b>Names:</b> We have a good list going and I am having a blast looking up names for our children! We won't be naming them till we see them so we will be keeping the names a secret.<br />
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<b>What I miss: </b>I miss my family and friends right now. Everyone is either far away or busy with their kids, so I have felt kinda alone this week.<br />
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<b>What I am looking forward to:</b>
I am looking forward to seeing our little ones again on Thursday and hopefully really feeling them soon.<br />
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<b>Mood and emotions:</b> I have had a little bit of a rough week. I kinda feel like I am in limbo. I don't really feel or look pregnant and I can't really feel them yet. I bought a cute little outfit this week and it felt like I was buying it for someone else. This is the first time I have felt like this and I don't like it. I have felt such a connection to these babies from the beginning so I don't know what happened. I also got really emotional about feeling alone. When my friends and cousins were pregnant I got together with them a lot. I went above and beyond helping them with things they needed especially when they were on bed rest or felt overwhelmed with getting things organized to make room for their babies. Now that I am pregnant everyone is busy or moved away. I understand people have lives and it is difficult with kids, but I feel like I am invisible or something. I try to make plans to just hang out, totally willing to go to them, but I get no response or I'm busy.<br />
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<b>Milestones:</b> I can't think of any milestones I have hit. <br />
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<b>Medical concerns:</b> Nothing right now and I hope it says that way!<br />
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<b>Sex?:</b> Nope. I'm still on modified bed rest.<br />
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<b>Best moment of the week:</b> I love finding out that a fellow blogger is pregnant!!!<br />
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<b>Hows Daddy?:</b> Daddy is great! I think he is really looking forward to seeing Squirt and Roo again and I know he can't wait to feel them. He really wants them to move for me and tells them to often.<br />
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<b>Some funny/cute things Hubby has said (at least I think they are): </b>When the Hubby and I are alone at home we let lose and by that I mean gas. As my Nana always said "you can't hold what you don't have in your hand!" Why hold it in and be uncomfortable? Anyway, any time the Hubby lets one rip he tries to blame it on the babies and it makes me laugh!<br />
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<b>Nursery: </b>I am getting excited thinking about ideas for the nursery.Emily @ablanket2keephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10398858102692984237noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8083832040968229848.post-2263930354984640842012-10-22T22:29:00.001-04:002012-10-22T22:29:49.593-04:00happy blogoversary to me!A year ago today I wrote my first blog post. I remember how scared I was to start writing. I really looked up to all of you and wanted to be a part of this amazing community that I accidentally found. You came into my life just when I needed you. I was at my lowest point. If I had never found you, I believe I wouldn't be where I am today.<br />
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We were 2 years into TTC and had finished all of our testing, We were waiting on the Hubby's medication to work so we could start medicated cycles with IUI. All of your support, love and acceptance of me got me through the most difficult part of our journey. Without you, with every cycle fail, I probably would have fallen into a deep depression. You listened to my venting and gave me hope. I will never be able to thank you enough.<br />
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Now, year later, I am pregnant with twins! I am amazingly blessed to finally be here.<br />
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I love you guys with all my heart!<br />
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PS: I am slowly catching up on everyone's posts. Sorry for being MIA from your blogs for so long.Emily @ablanket2keephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10398858102692984237noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8083832040968229848.post-19339741969496346832012-10-20T14:58:00.000-04:002012-10-20T14:58:54.079-04:00my flower bed has a green thumb of it's ownA few months ago while I was weeding our flower bed, I came across a seedling that didn't look much like a weed. Now, I haven't planted anything. We had gotten bushes removed and had a landscaper put down mulch and plant some boxwoods, hastas, hydrangeas and other things I can't remember the names of. We also saved the azalea bush that was being squished by bushes. Other than that I haven't done any planting. The leaves on this seedling were different and familiar so I decided to leave it and see what happened.<br />
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Well, it took off! This thing grew like a weed! As it got bigger I could see the leaves and flowers looked like a squash or zucchini plant. I got excited that we might be getting free veggies! It looked like a bush about 3 feet tall and started to take over the flower bed with it's giant leaves that were bigger than both my hands combined! Soon it was covering a hasta, boxwood bush and making its way onto our lawn.<br />
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When the little baby veggies started growing they totally looked like zucchini, but as they grew they didn't lengthen. They stayed small and squat and just got rounder.<br />
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Maybe pumpkins?<br />
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YUP! After a long time of having small, round, green zucchini looking things, the leaves started to dry out and the little pumpkins turned orange!<br />
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Check em out! Please pardon all the weeds.<br />
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Can you count them all? Watch out, some are trying to hide!<br />
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There are 12!!! We have 12 cute little pumpkins and I didn't plant them. We are thinking some animal brought the seeds into our yard or maybe there were some mixed in the mulch that was brought in.<br />
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Even my MIL's doglet, Yoda is admiring them.<br />
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The leaves and vines have basically dried out and the pumpkins are almost completely orange, so I think it may be time to pick them and put them on our front stairs. They are too tiny to carve so we will be picking big pumpkins soon. We usually each get one to carve. Maybe I will carve one for Roo and Squirt too!<br />
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Emily @ablanket2keephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10398858102692984237noreply@blogger.com10