march photo challenge: commute

Today's prompt is commute


Since I am unemployed I don't really have a commute. The farthest place I go is to my RE 30 min away. I take back roads there and this is my favorite part. It's a little difficult to squeeze 2 cars through at once so I stopped to take a pic and let the other car through first.

nothing's gonna stop us???

I woke up this morning excited and happy we were doing our IUI. I have 2 good follies and that gives us a better chance! I was not nervous. I was able to eat. I actually ate a little too much and was a bit uncomfortable on the table. I had a cheesy 80's power ballad playing over and over in my head that was pumping me up even more. I love cheese!

The Dr I liked walked in and cut right to the chase. The sample was not good. The past 2 IUIs the post wash count was not what they like to see, but ok. This time it was even less. (sorry for the lack of details, I don't want to say too much) This Dr is always happy and has hope that it will work. She said that the numbers my not be in our favor, but it is still possible.

I was just kinda in shock and I basically got it in my head right there that it is just not gonna work. We will probably have to move onto IVF. My mind is already preparing itself and pushing the whole IUI out the window. Acting like it never happened. This cycle is a bust.

The Hubby and I had a little talk before he went back to work. He didn't beat around the bush either and agreed it is probably a bust. I asked him how he was feeling about IVF. He told me how badly he wants a child and that we will make it work. It was really nice hearing him say how much he wanted this. He told me he would probably shit himself when he hears how much it will all cost, but he will get over it. This is what we want and we will do it. He says he knows he is ignorant to what is entailed and he knows he doesn't understand like I do what our next steps could be.

I am typing this crying my eyes out right now. I am lost and upset. We have our follow up with Dr G on Friday to see what she suggests we do next. Back when we first started the IUIs she had talked about doing 3 and then maybe doing injections next with IUI. We will see what she thinks now with the post wash counts.

I know I still have my 2WW and I guess it is possible, but my brain keeps pushing it aside. I am not expecting anything and I will probably not be thinking about it these 2 weeks. I will be thinking about our next steps. I know I just have to pick myself up, dust myself off and move forward, but it's probably gonna take a while.

I still have the cheesy 80's power ballad stuck in my head, but instead of pumping me up right now it's making me cry. Hopefully if I keep listening to it and some others I can let all these tears out and pump myself up again.

Please enjoy all the cheesy goodness!

Looking in your eyes I see a paradise
This world that I've found is too good to be true
Standing here beside you
Want so much to give you
This love in my heart that I'm feeling for you

Let em say were crazy, I don't care about that
Put your hand in my hand baby
Don't ever look back
Let the world around us just fall apart
Baby we can make it if were heart to heart

And we can build this dream together
Standing strong forever
Nothings gonna stop us now
And if this world runs out of lovers
Well still have each other
Nothings gonna stop us, nothings gonna stop us now

I'm so glad I found you
I'm not gonna lose you
Whatever it takes I will stay here with you
Take it to the good times
See it through the bad times
Whatever it takes is what I'm gonna do

Let em say were crazy, what do they know
Put your arms around me baby
Don't ever let go
Let the world around us just fall apart
Baby we can make it if were heart to heart

And we can build this dream together
Standing strong forever
Nothings gonna stop us now
And if this world runs out of lovers
Well still have each other
Nothings gonna stop us, nothings gonna stop us

Ooh, all that I need is you
All that I ever need
And all that I want to do
Is hold you forever, ever and ever
 
And we can build this dream together
Standing strong forever
Nothings gonna stop us now
And if this world runs out of lovers
Well still have each other
Nothings gonna stop us
Nothings gonna stop us, whoa
Nothings gonna stop us now, oh no

Hey baby, I know, hey baby, nothings gonna stop us
Hey baby, woo, nothing, hey baby
Nothings gonna stop us now yeah

march photo challenge: illuminate

Today's prompt is Illuminate

This is my favorite candle holder. I love how it casts beautiful shapes of light on the wall and ceiling.

IUI #3 is tomorrow!

I went yesterday for my CD10 blood work and US. I had 2 good follicles on righty 17mm and 15mm. Lefty was dawdling and I didn't even get the measurements. I was told to come back today for another US and blood work and bring my ovidrel with me.

Today I went back and my 2 good follies are now 20mm and 17mm. This is the first time I have 2 really good ones on a cycle! I am praying both will release eggs and we will have a better shot this time! The nurse gave me my ovidrel shot right away and I made the appointment for our IUI #3 tomorrow morning.

I think this is our last chance with clomid. After 3 rounds with clomid and ovidrel Dr G wanted to talk to us about our next steps. She had mentioned doing injectables, but that all depends on what she says about the Hubbie's spermies post wash. They haven't been at the number they like to see, so I don't know what her suggestions will be. I will be making that appointment tomorrow hopefully for Friday. If not then, then sometime during our 2WW so we can move right on if this cycle doesn't work.

I am hoping and praying so so hard that this works and I we don't have to do anymore! I need to hear some success stories! Anyone out there get a BFP on a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th (or more) IUI with MFI (male factor infertility)?

Just like my past 2 2WWs I will not be googling anything and no POAS! I am so glad I have Belle's March Photo Challenge to keep my busy.

march photo challenge: domestic

Today's prompt is Domestic

I love to cook and bake and when I do I really feel like I am taking care of us. I always loved that dough boy quote. "Nothing says lovin' like something from the oven"

On Saturday mornings I like to make something really good for breakfast. Sometimes pancakes or waffles. Sometimes I just go all out with omelets filled with veggies and sides of bacon or sausage. Today I felt like cinnamon rolls. I cheated and didn't make them from scratch. The Hubby was finally home and I didn't want to do anything but spend time with him. Next time I will make them from scratch!

For dinner I made an easy beef stew in the crock pot. I just threw everything in, especially veggies that needed to be eaten, and let it cook for 8 hours. I wanted to make a nice meal, but I would rather spend time with the Hubby. We had a great day just being with each other and I still feel like I did good.

march photo challenge: feet

 Today's prompt is Feet

That's my blurry foot. I was walking pretty fast. It's interesting trying to take an action shot without falling off LOL! Another day of working out and keeping on track! I had a one on one with a personal trainer today and I got an awesome work out regimen. 

I broke down and joined myfitnesspal. I will try to keep track of my calories, workouts, calories burned and weight. So if you do myfitnesspal and want to be my pal my name is 2keep.

I don't think I am going to do a weekly weigh in because it will probably drive me crazy. I don't like to weigh myself, especially while trying to lose weight. I find that I get discouraged. I will weigh myself once a month.

I guess I will put my weight out there since I am starting to keep track. My highest weight ever was 222. I think that number is my breaking point. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin at that and I will not let myself go any higher. I weighed that a while before I got married and got down to 200 at my wedding. I got back up to 222 last winter.

I have not weighed myself since my last OBGYN appt in the beginning of December. Then, I weighed 217. I just weighed myself on Monday and was completely shocked! I am 200.6!!!! I have not been that since my wedding! I knew I was losing weight because my clothing is looser and my rolls aren't as big! I hope I can get down a bit more before I get pregnant so even when I gain weight I will still be comfortable.

march photo challenge: self portrait

I have been really trying to keep my mind off this cycle completely and so far I am doing pretty good! I decided to help keep myself occupied and my mind on anything but, I would join in the fun Belle started over at Scrambled Eggs. She made up her own March Photo Challenge! If you would like to join in the fun go here to read all about it.

Here are the prompts.

So day one is self portrait.

I decided to finally post a pic of me in my new glasses. I only wear them when driving so I took the pic in the car. I just realized that my left eyebrow looks like I have a huge chunk out of the top! I do not! Must be the flash or something!