my strong little guy

I wasn't planning on blogging today. I was busy running around doing last minute things before I leave tomorrow morning to NC. My errands were put on hold this afternoon when I came home from the gym.
 

Every year birds build a nest in the huge evergreen trees above our patio. After so many years you would think they would learn not to. You see, the branches move a lot in the wind and every year some baby birds fall out of the nest and pass.
 

Today was a windy day. When I got home from the gym, to my horror there were 2 poor baby birds who had fallen out of the nest onto our patio and passed. As soon as I saw them I started to cry. I don't know about you, but I can't just leave them there or just toss them into the bushes. So, like every year, I grab a shovel and bury them. I dug a hole (only one, I feel they should stay together) and put the first one in it. When I went back for the second one I burst into tears all over again. Not too far from the second one was a third. It had landed on our grill cover which was folded up on the ground. I buried the second one and came back for the third.
 

When I approached it, to my complete surprise it sprang to life. Sat straight up with its wide open mouth to the sky, chirping for food. The grill cover had cushioned it's fall! My sad tears turned to joyous ones!
 

I quickly called my local animal control to find out where I could bring this little one. They called me back and told me there was an animal hospital about a half hour away that accepts birds and bring them to the local bird sanctuary. I ran inside, grabbed a towel and a shoebox and made a little nest for him. He seemed very comfortable in there. Then, hopped in the car and drove straight to the animal hospital.
 

At each light I lifted the lid to check on him and each time without fail he would sit straight up with his mouth wide open chirping for food. Every time I saw that more tears of joy streamed down my face.
 

When I got there they asked me to fill out a form so they could keep track of where each bird came from. So I filled out my info, where he was found and why he was picked up. (I also gave them a donation because it is so great that they do this) When I got to the bottom of the page it asked me to name the bird so the sanctuary could identify him. I was also told I could call back, tell them his name and they could tell me how he was doing. Isn't that just so awesome?! Anyway, I stood there for a second asking myself what to name the bird. I named him the first thing that popped into my head.
 

Everyone, I would like you to meet Calvin. Calvin means little bald one. They Hubby says he is kinda ugly, I think he is cute!

Chirping for food

Resting

Please send good thoughts and prayers for this little guy that he survives and thrives. I cry every time I think about him. I got so attached to him in the 2 hours we were together. I'm torn on weather or not I should call for an update in a couple days. Even though he seemed so strong I am so scared he won't make it and I can't bear to hear that.

perfect moment monday

Lori says "Perfect Moment Monday is about noticing a perfect moment rather than creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between."


Trying to relax is at the top of my list right now and I think I am doing a pretty good job of it.

A couple weeks ago, relaxing in my tub.

Pedicure yesterday so I have pretty, soft feet for my vacation. Pardon my uber pale/unshaved legs.

Channeling my inner girly girl. Barbie toes!

maybe a cure for mfi?...stupid commercial

There have been a lot of commercials that involve pregnant women that I just sit there and shake my head and say . . .Really?

Remember the credit card one with the pregnant lady with the big belly who went to the Dr and apparently just found out she was having triplets? She surprised her Hubby with 3 cribs and he passed out. Come on now! She didn't know she was having triplets till then?!

Then there are those stupid car commercials with Bro.oke Shi.elds saying there is an epidemic sweeping the nation because women are getting pregnant just to get a car.

Brooke Shields - Volkswagen Commercial - The funniest videos are a click away

There are a bunch more that are just annoying, but I can't seem to remember them right now.

Anyway, I saw a new one last night.



Ugh! So stupid. The Hubby and I just sat there and shook our heads. Maybe that's the cure for MFI! I should run out and get some!

What pregnancy related commercials annoy the heck out of you?

june IComLeavWe

Hello everyone! If you have not been here before welcome! If you have, welcome back! You can read a little about me here and my timeline here.

First I wanted to thank everyone for all your sweet, caring comments on my last post. I still get so overwhelmed, in a good way, when people comment and show they care how I am feeling and all the Hugz make me feel great!

So, where I'm at. Well we just got a BFN on our 5th medicated IUI cycle. Our RE recommended doing 3 with clomid and 3 with follistim. We are going to take a month off before we do our last IUI with follistim in July-August. If it doesn't work then we will be moving on to IVF hopefully in September. September will also be our 3 years TTC mark.

I was on the fence about taking a break. For months I have been talking about going to visit my cousin and Godson for his 1st Birthday, but that would mean skipping this month. I would be in NC at the time I would need to be doing follicle checks and possibly the IUI. The Hubby pushed me and reminded me how I wouldn't want to miss Little L's 1st Birthday and how relaxing and fun it is when I visit. He also reminds me that we have waited almost 3 years, we can handle another month. So, I bought my plane tickets and I leave in 6 days! I really can't wait! There will be wonderful company, great food,  lots of drinks, tons of sun and relaxation. I will be spending a lot of time at the pool. I haven't been in a bathing suit in a year and it will be nice since I am 15lbs lighter!

I love IComLeavWe! It is so awesome to find new blogs and hand out lots of love and Hugz in comment form! I found a whole bunch of new blogs last month, but they are still sitting in different tabs at the top of my browser. I have to get to them and add them to my reader so I can keep up! To all of you that I said I can't wait to check you out I will be there soon! Don't you hate it when real life gets in the way? LOL!

Hope everyone has a great week and finds lots of new freinds!

nope

It was negative. I'm not surprised at all.

Between last night and this morning I think I cried more than in the last few months combined. I am still sad, but pretty much made peace with it even before I got the call.

I just feel so drained. I guess it's a good thing we are taking a break.

The pull on my heart to be pregnant is so strong right now. I want to feel the baby moving inside me. It used to be just the desire to be a mother and being pregnant would be a bonus. Now, I feel like I need to be pregnant.

My bestie texted me today while I was waiting for the call. Since they moved we don't see much of each other. They were in the area and wanted to stop by. My bestie N, her Hubby and Little Z. I still don't know if it helped or hurt, holding and playing with 8 month old Z. I guess maybe a little bit of both so it evened itself out.

We will see how the weekend goes. Hopefully I will be too busy to think much.

these dreams are killing me!

In April I had my first pregnancy dream ever. I was so excited to finally be able to see myself with pregnant belly. This dream made me happy, but since then the dreams just upset me more and more.

Then, in May I dreamt about what might have been a miscarriage.

Last week I had a dream about getting a positive pregnancy test on this cycle and it really upset me. It felt like a huge tease and I couldn't get it out of my head all week. Until today.

Last night I had the most clear vivid dream yet. I just got home from the hospital and was holding our baby girl. She was beautiful. I can't remember it now, but in the dream I could see her face. She was a perfect combination of the Hubby and I. I also remember she was wearing a hot pink velour tracksuit with the hood up which I now find totally hilarious.

When I woke up I started to cry and have been bursting into tears every time I think about it today. Why do I have to have these dreams? I really don't need to be teased right now. I was in a good place till that dream. I truly felt like I was able to handle this cycle failing, but now the emotions are flowing and won't stop. I had a long ugly cry at my psyc a bit ago. It felt good to get out, but now my eyes are puffy and stinging and I have a constant knot in my throat.

Tomorrow is my beta. I feel no different from the 4 other medicated IUI cycles. It will most likely be negative and I will be holding back tears while celebrating Father's day with the Hubby's family this weekend.

wordless wednesday