It was negative. I'm not surprised at all.
Between last night and this morning I think I cried more than in the last few months combined. I am still sad, but pretty much made peace with it even before I got the call.
I just feel so drained. I guess it's a good thing we are taking a break.
The pull on my heart to be pregnant is so strong right now. I want to feel the baby moving inside me. It used to be just the desire to be a mother and being pregnant would be a bonus. Now, I feel like I need to be pregnant.
My bestie texted me today while I was waiting for the call. Since they moved we don't see much of each other. They were in the area and wanted to stop by. My bestie N, her Hubby and Little Z. I still don't know if it helped or hurt, holding and playing with 8 month old Z. I guess maybe a little bit of both so it evened itself out.
We will see how the weekend goes. Hopefully I will be too busy to think much.
I'm so sorry, that is really disappointing news. I was really hopeful for you. ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry Emily. I hope you achieve your dream soon. Until then I hope you are able to enjoy yourself on the break.
ReplyDeleteI am so so sorry. I hope that your break is peaceful time for you.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, Emily. It was the like that for me a while back, being a mom was the important part, then the 'omg need to be pregnant' kicked in hard again. I wish we could rationalize our bodies into consistency, at least. I hope your break is bearable, if not relaxing and carefree. Big hugs!!
ReplyDeleteI hope your break lets you take it easy and come back feeling relaxed and energized.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. You are in my thoughts <3
ReplyDeleteSending you lots of hugs. Now we both need something deliciously chocolaty to eat because that will make things better, right?
ReplyDeleteYes definitely! I will be having lots of chocolate this weekend!
DeleteI'm so sorry hon . . . Truly. Enjoy your break!! ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteAre you going to go on to IVF after your break? I know its expensive. I'm so sorry that this cycle didn't work.
ReplyDeleteWe are supposed to do one more IUI cycle with follistim then move onto IVF. It will be expensive. We have been saving for a while so we will be ok.
DeleteOh Emily....I am so sorry! I know how disappointing this is, and I wish there was something I could say to take away some of the pain. I will be holding you in my heart as you weather this storm. {Big gentle hug}
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry hon. :-(
ReplyDeleteSending you a huge hug!
So sorry :( :( I hope you're doing something nice for yourself...
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry sweetie, big huggs.
ReplyDeleteEat all the chocolate and ice cream you can...and when possible both at the same time.
Lol yea! I usually don't eat much icecream, but I have been craving it the part few days.
DeleteSorry. It never gets easier, does it? Even when you expect it.
ReplyDeleteThank you everyone. Your comments mean a lot to me. I have read them often over the past couple days.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear this... best of luck feeling better over these next few days, and I will keep a positive thought for your next cycle.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry Emily! Relax and pamper yourself on your break and really treat yourself to some self indulgence!
ReplyDeleteBig huge hugs. It is so hard...you know I'd be hugging you if I could! So hard to want something so badly that (for whatever reason) is out of your reach.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that it didn't work out this time. Hang in there. Enjoy the break. We took a 2 month break between ivf cycles and it was the best thing we could have ever done. xxx
ReplyDeleteso, so sorry, Emily ... even if you weren't surprised, that's doesn't make it any easier. I hope that you are being kind to yourself right now, and that you are feeling tended to. Sending hugs.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry hun, that sucks serious monkey-butt. I am sending big old hugs.
ReplyDeleteOh for all the good news lately there is just as much bad. Thinking of you and sending lots of big hugs...you will get through this
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear this, it's got to be heartbreaking. I really hope this next cycle is the one, enjoy your break!
ReplyDeleteWell that blows Emily! I am thinking of you!
ReplyDelete:( Emily I am soooooo sorry. I wish I could just find you and give you the biggest hug every. I understand the tears. Sometimes they just need to fall.
ReplyDeleteOne day though. I promise, one day they will be tears of joy!
*big big hugs* I remember being at the 2 year 9 month marker and being so bummed and frustrated. I'm truly sorry for your BFN, they seem to hurt more and more with each passing cycle.
ReplyDeleteI hope a break helps you and hubby collect yourselves and get ready for a next step. Do you think you'll continue with IUI or try and IVF round?
Sending you my love love love. I'm so sorry (the 3yr mark really SUCKS). I hope you can let yourself enjoy your little break. :) xoxo
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