what i have been up to

It feels like I haven't been on in a couple of weeks even though it's only been 4 days. I have been so crazy busy and now extremely tired. Bullet points are about all I can handle right now.

• Wednesday I took the Hubby to a surgeon to have him check out a big infected cyst that needed to be removed from his back. He had been on antibiotics from his PCP, but it didn't work. We knew it wouldn't even though the PCP said it would and wouldn't give us the script to see the surgeon until he was ready. Stupid PCP. The Hubby had the same thing happen a few years ago and the antibiotics didn't work until the cyst was lanced. It should have been removed too, but we had issues with the old surgeon. This surgeon was awesome and scheduled him for the next day.

• Thursday he had the surgery. They removed the current cyst and also removed the walls of the old one which could potentially have come back. The surgeon was amazing. So personable and an awesome bedside manor. the outpatient surgery center was beautiful! So clean and organized. The nurses and staff were so nice and helpful. We will definitely be going back there if we ever need any other surgeries.

• While the Hubby was having the surgery I waited in the very comfortable waiting room and read blogs on my phone. There was a young receptionist probably in her early to mid 20s. She came over by where I was sitting to fill her water bottle and asked me if I wanted her to turn on the tv. I told her I was good reading blogs on my phone. She asked me if I was reading anything interesting. Without thinking twice I told her I was reading infertility blogs and how there was an amazing online community. She then opened up and told me she was just told by her Dr she will have a difficult time conceiving because of her thyroid condition and other things. She asked me about the blogs so I told her a good starting point would be Stirrup Queens Completely Anal List of Blogs That Proves That She Really Missed Her Calling as a Personal Organizer. She thanked me and went back to her work. After all that happened I really thought about it and felt good about being open and honest and might have just helped someone find this amazing community who is or soon will be going through all this IF shit. It seems like every time I open up to someone, they are in the same boat. Crazy.

• Friday the Hubby was in pain so we hung around the house and I crocheted while he napped, watched tv and played computer games. He is doing a lot better now. Not in much pain anymore. 

• My new crochet project is a really cute pillow for my Godson Little L. I will post about it when I am done. He will be turning 1 at the end of the month. I really can't believe it's been a year. Kinda makes me sad remembering her whole pregnancy, his birth and now he will be 1. *sigh* 

• I'm kinda bummed out right now. I was doing great ignoring this whole 2WW and not getting my hopes up for this cycle. I was content and happy thinking if it's negative that's ok and if it's actually positive then even better!!! This changed when I woke up Saturday morning. I had a dream about this cycle. In the dream the Hubby and I were all excited about the cycle. How we had at least one follicle on each side and how we have awesome chances of it working. (I think we were a little over optimistic in the dream) Anyway, in the dream I ended up taking a HPT the day before my beta and it was positive. We were jumping around all excited yelling I knew it, I knew it would work. So I woke up from that realizing it wasn't real and was instantly bummed out. Also pissed because now the cycle was the only thing on my mind and I couldn't get it out. I still can't get it out no matter what I do. It sucks!

• Yesterday and today we spent a lot of time with my FIL and Step MIL. They are visiting from Florida and moving the rest of their furniture out of their old house that they have been renting out. We moved a ton of boxes and furniture to Step SIL apartment, BIL and girlfriend's house and some to our house. We will be going back to help them pack a truck at the end of the week with the rest of their things they are taking back to Florida with them.

• So now I am tired and vegging in front of the tv trying not to think about this cycle. I refuse to look up my CD or DPO. All I know is Friday I go for my beta and I don't know anymore how ok I will be if it's negative. Probably will be negative.