A few months ago I really started working on me and getting myself out of this "funk". Going to a psychologist was a big step for me and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. One of the things I realized while talking to my psyc was my life was completely on hold. The Hubby and I had talked many times about going on vacation, but never pursued it. We wanted to visit family, never took the trip. I was always thinking about the what If's. What if it's time to start a cycle and we are going away. What if I take a road trip with my best cousin and the Hubby and I are apart when it's time to try. What if I do get pregnant and I'm too sick to enjoy myself. I feel kinda stupid saying that last one, but truthfully that was a part of my thoughts. I even stopped making little plans like lunches with friends, game nights with family and just doing fun things for myself. Stopping those things was more due to the depression, but it was all a part of my life on hold.
After sharing my revelation with the Hubby we decided to work on it together. He pushed me to have fun, connect with people again, do things that make me healthy and happy and spoil myself a bit. I started to make plans again. Lunch with old and new friends. I joined the gym again and got myself back on track. I took a road trip with my best cousin T and her new baby Little L to visit our family in North Carolina. I Love road trips! The Hubby and I planned a trip to Florida for Thanksgiving so we could visit his Dad and Step-mom. One thing I wanted to, but was hesitant to do because I don't like to spend money on myself is get a massage, I had gotten one years ago and it was amazing. The spa was having special membership deal and my Hubby kept insisting I do it. So after arguing with him about how I didn't want to spend the money he kept pushing so I finally did. I now get a massage every month! I am so blessed I have the Hubby who knows what I need more than I do and goes above and beyond to make me happy...
Last week was our 3rd Wedding Anniversary. We decided to go with the traditional gift which was leather. The Hubby of course joked that he was getting me skimpy leather lingerie and whip and I told him if he wanted to get me it go ahead ;) I got him leather bound copies of The Count of Monte Cristo and The Chronicles of Narnia, 2 of his favorite stories when he was younger. The Hubby got be a beautiful leather shoulder bag that can also turn into a backpack. As I was checking out all the room and pocket the bag had, I found a paper in the bottom. I pulled it out, read it and started balling my eyes out, happy tears. WE ARE GOING TO DISNEY!!!!! The Hubby told me he planned it months ago when we decided to go to Florida for Thanksgiving, but wanted to wait till our Anniversary to surprise me. He said he knew we needed to get away, have some fun and just be with each other, we haven't done that since our honeymoon.
We decided when we go we will take a TTC break. No BBT, OPKs or worrying about timing the horizontal polka if I actually do ovulate. We are taking our life of hold! I CAN'T WAIT!!
PS- We are leaving tomorrow morning on a 10 hour road trip! The Hubby had business in North Carolina so he decided I was coming along and we are going to visit family. I miss my best cousin T and Little L, they moved there a few weeks ago. Hopefully I will be able to keep up with all your posts while I am away. Love you all!