Wednesday, October 31, 2012

after sandy

Hi everyone.
I'm typing this from my phone so I don't know how it will come out.
Sandy was a bitch but we are safe. We were hit pretty hard but thank goodness no flooding like last year with Irene. We had extremely high winds that uprooted and snapped trees and power lines so we have had no power since Monday night and we are hearing we might not for 7-10 days. None of my family has power either. 1 of our 3 story evergreen trees in our back yard snapped in half and landed in our neighbors roof. Everyone is safe but it was very scary.
The babies are doing fine and probably happy as a clam in there since they are nice and warm and have no clue what is going on outside my uterus.
Hubby and I have been staying warm with our fireplace, cooking on our gas stove and spending our nights reading, crocheting and playing card or board games by candlelight.
Hope everyone out there is warm and safe. I am thinking about you often.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

15 weeks

Due date:  According to my ovulation day my due date is April 16, 2013.

How far along?: 15 weeks

Total weight loss/gain: The day before the IUI I was 206. This morning I was 203.6. Either my scale is broken or I am staying completely the same! I hope these babies are getting enough nutrition. Trying to stuff my face with healthy stuff all day.

What's going on with the babies?: As far as I know Roo and Squirt are kicked back and relaxing in there. Busy growing. From head to tushy they should be about 2.9 inches (7.4cm). According to my book, they can now sense light and their inner ear bones have formed enough that they can pick up sounds! This makes me so happy! I am going to be talking to them a lot more now!

What's going on with my body?: I have had no bleeding for over a week! I hope it stays that way! My sense of smell has kicked into uber high gear and random smells are now making me gag. I think they may be going through a growth spurt because for a few days I was exhausted no matter how much I slept.

What does the belly look like?: I could tell it was getting bigger just by my regular jeans being uncomfortable now, but it didn't really hit me till this week. I was doing a little *ahem* landscaping and I realized I couldn't bend or *ahem* see as much as I used to. Sorry if that's TMI. I will put up a new belly pic tomorrow when the Hubby can take a pic of me.

Maternity clothes: This was the first week of wearing maternity pants all the time. They are comfortable, but I think it will take a little while for me to really get used to them. Maybe when they form to my body better and definitely when I get bigger. Still wearing my regular tshirts. I always wore them bigger so it will be a while till they are too tight.

Movement: Every once in a while I think I feel something and then I doubt myself. I know for a fact I felt one of them on Sunday. It was so different, I think one of them may have flipped. The feeling surprised me so much, I did one of those inhale gasps in the middle of church. Thank goodness it was quiet!

Sleep: I have been sleeping great! Still love my snoogle pillow!

Cravings/aversions: I think my sweets aversion might be almost over! The thought of a cupcake sounded great this week so I tried a mini one. It was still a little too sweet for me, but I got it down without feeling gross after!

Sex of the babies: We will not be finding out the sexes till they come out! I decided to add a poll to the side so everyone can guess who we have in there. I always found guessing fun!

Names: We have a good list going and I am having a blast looking up names for our children! We won't be naming them till we see them so we will be keeping the names a secret.

What I miss: I miss my family and friends right now. Everyone is either far away or busy with their kids, so I have felt kinda alone this week.

What I am looking forward to: I am looking forward to seeing our little ones again on Thursday and hopefully really feeling them soon.

Mood and emotions: I have had a little bit of a rough week. I kinda feel like I am in limbo. I don't really feel or look pregnant and I can't really feel them yet. I bought a cute little outfit this week and it felt like I was buying it for someone else. This is the first time I have felt like this and I don't like it. I have felt such a connection to these babies from the beginning so I don't know what happened. I also got really emotional about feeling alone. When my friends and cousins were pregnant I got together with them a lot. I went above and beyond helping them with things they needed especially when they were on bed rest or felt overwhelmed with getting things organized to make room for their babies. Now that I am pregnant everyone is busy or moved away. I understand people have lives and it is difficult with kids, but I feel like I am invisible or something. I try to make plans to just hang out, totally willing to go to them, but I get no response or I'm busy.

Milestones: I can't think of any milestones I have hit.

Medical concerns: Nothing right now and I hope it says that way!

Sex?: Nope. I'm still on modified bed rest.

Best moment of the week: I love finding out that a fellow blogger is pregnant!!!

Hows Daddy?: Daddy is great! I think he is really looking forward to seeing Squirt and Roo again and I know he can't wait to feel them. He really wants them to move for me and tells them to often.

Some funny/cute things Hubby has said (at least I think they are): When the Hubby and I are alone at home we let lose and by that I mean gas. As my Nana always said "you can't hold what you don't have in your hand!" Why hold it in and be uncomfortable? Anyway, any time the Hubby lets one rip he tries to blame it on the babies and it makes me laugh!

Nursery: I am getting excited thinking about ideas for the nursery.

Monday, October 22, 2012

happy blogoversary to me!

A year ago today I wrote my first blog post. I remember how scared I was to start writing. I really looked up to all of you and wanted to be a part of this amazing community that I accidentally found. You came into my life just when I needed you. I was at my lowest point. If I had never found you, I believe I wouldn't be where I am today.

We were 2 years into TTC and had finished all of our testing, We were waiting on the Hubby's medication to work so we could start medicated cycles with IUI. All of your support, love and acceptance of me got me through the most difficult part of our journey. Without you, with every cycle fail, I probably would have fallen into a deep depression. You listened to my venting and gave me hope. I will never be able to thank you enough.

Now,  year later, I am pregnant with twins! I am amazingly blessed to finally be here.

I love you guys with all my heart!

PS: I am slowly catching up on everyone's posts. Sorry for being MIA from your blogs for so long.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

my flower bed has a green thumb of it's own

A few months ago while I was weeding our flower bed, I came across a seedling that didn't look much like a weed. Now, I haven't planted anything. We had gotten bushes removed and had a landscaper put down mulch and plant some boxwoods, hastas, hydrangeas and other things I can't remember the names of. We also saved the azalea bush that was being squished by bushes. Other than that I haven't done any planting. The leaves on this seedling were different and familiar so I decided to leave it and see what happened.

Well, it took off! This thing grew like a weed! As it got bigger I could see the leaves and flowers looked like a squash or zucchini plant. I got excited that we might be getting free veggies! It looked like a bush about 3 feet tall and started to take over the flower bed with it's giant leaves that were bigger than both my hands combined! Soon it was covering a hasta, boxwood bush and making its way onto our lawn.

When the little baby veggies started growing they totally looked like zucchini, but as they grew they didn't lengthen. They stayed small and squat and just got rounder.

Maybe pumpkins?

YUP! After a long time of having small, round, green zucchini looking things, the leaves started to dry out and the little pumpkins turned orange!

Check em out! Please pardon all the weeds.

Can you count them all? Watch out, some are trying to hide!

There are 12!!! We have 12 cute little pumpkins and I didn't plant them. We are thinking some animal brought the seeds into our yard or maybe there were some mixed in the mulch that was brought in.

Even my MIL's doglet, Yoda is admiring them.

The leaves and vines have basically dried out and the pumpkins are almost completely orange, so I think it may be time to pick them and put them on our front stairs. They are too tiny to carve so we will be picking big pumpkins soon. We usually each get one to carve. Maybe I will carve one for Roo and Squirt too!

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

14 weeks - modified bed rest

I told you on Sunday about how I went to the ER that morning with some bleeding. I was to call Dr Monty on Monday to make a follow up appointment for Tuesday. Well, yesterday morning I woke up with bleeding again! When I called Dr Monty and told him I was bleeding again he had me come right in. He did an U/s and Roo and Squirt look fine. He went over all the results from the hospital and like the ER Dr said, they couldn't find any reason for the bleeding. Dr Monty decided I should go on a form of modified bed rest at least until I see him next week and then he will reevaluate. My restrictions are, no sex :( , no exercise, only very light lifting, and lots of rest. I am only allowed to do small loads of laundry and even that he wants me to limit my walking up and down my basement stairs. I was suppose to have a dental cleaning today, but he had me postpone it till things calm down. I am allowed to leave the house, but I need to take it easy.

He also put me back on prometrium pills. My RE took me off of them at 8 weeks when everything looked fine. Dr Monty prescribed progesterone in oil shots once a week that I will start as soon as everything is cleared with my insurance. I figured that we would be taught and my Hubby would give me the shot, but apparently Dr Monty uses a nurse group who will come give me the shot once a week! So, hopefully my insurance will cover the PIO since it should help better than the pills.

Due date:  According to my ovulation day my due date is April 16, 2013.

How far along?: 14 weeks

Total weight loss/gain: The day before the IUI I was 206. This morning I was 203.6. Well, I didn't gain, but I didn't lose. I am eating as much as I can all day and I haven't done any exercise in a couple weeks. I guess these babies are just sucking every bit of nutrition out of me since they are growing nicely!

What's going on with the babies?:Roo and Squirt are doing fine, but these little stinkers are causing trouble! LOL! Scaring me half to death with the bleeding! I know it's probably just my body doing it, but it is cute to call them little trouble makers. Suzy said it perfectly on twitter, "So glad the babies are okay! They are SO grounded though." I told her I sent them to their rooms and they are not to come out till April! Lets hope they listen to me

Squirt and Roo should be about 2.4 inches (6.1cm). Their eyes and ears have reached their final positions and are more clearly defined. The first little hairs are starting to grow on their bodies. They can now swallow amniotic fluid and even though the placenta is doing the work of their kidneys, their bladder does fill and they can empty it! My children are peeing in me LOL!

What's going on with my body?: Even though I was bleeding, my body seems to be doing it's best to keep these babies in there and growing. It was scary, but I have to trust my body! It has gotten these babies to 14 weeks and it can get them to full term and into my arms.

Heartburn has picked up a bit. I have been trying to watch what I eat to try and keep it away, but I still have it and have been popping tums a little more. I am hungry all the time now! I eat all day and I am enjoying it so much! Food is so good!

What does the belly look like?: I know my belly is getting bigger, I just can't really see it yet. Maybe it's because I see it every day. I can definitely feel a belly in there. Feels like I have a heavy ball in there. I will post a pic later today as soon as the Hubby comes home and can take a pic of me.

Maternity clothes: I bought maternity pants and OMG they are so comfy!!! I took a lot of your advice and went to motherhood maternity. I grabbed my size in the full panel plus and they fit perfectly with room to grow! My MIL took me and insisted on buying them for me. She is so sweet and make me get 2 pairs LOL! I also ordered a maternity shirt online. It's not a regular shirt, it's actually my Halloween costume. I will post about that with pics when we get closer to Halloween.

Movement: I have had so much gas this past week, so if there was any movement I couldn't feel it. I hope I start feeling some real movements soon. I really can't wait!!

Sleep: I got a snoogle body pillow this week! Thank you sweetie! You know who you are! This thing is amazing! It cradles my body and supports my knees and hips all night. I had just started to get that sore, stiff feeling in my hips the week before and this has relieved it completely! I highly recommend a body pillow!

Cravings/aversions: I had a tuna salad sandwich the other day and now that is all I can think about!

Sex of the babies: We decided we won't be finding out the sexes. Thank you for all the ideas for our babies' blankets! I still haven't made a decision on what I am going to make, but I know whatever I do make will be perfect for them and they will love it.

Names: I am having a blast figuring out names for our little ones! I still haven't gotten the name book from my cousin so as soon as I do we will really start to sit down and figure it out. We have time.

What I miss: I am going to miss being able to do everything I'm not allowed to while taking it easy. I will miss it, but will do anything I need to for these babies!

What I am looking forward to: I am looking forward to really feeling movement! Come on babies! I want to feel you in there!

Mood and emotions: This week has been an emotional roller coaster with the bleeding. Overall I have been feeling good about everything. I have also been emotional about our Anniversary coming up. I know it's not about the presents, but my Hubby loves to buy me things and always has amazing ideas for me. For me, every year gets harder and harder to find the perfect gift for him. My ideas just don't seem good enough. We will be spending a nice night together so I will just have to focus on that.

Milestones: I can't think of any milestones I have hit.

Medical concerns: All the stuff I have been talking about over the past few days. The bleeding and stuff.

Sex?: Well, now that I have the restrictions, sex is going from sometimes to never. :( I hope this isn't it for the rest of the pregnancy! I will do anything for these babies, but it would be nice to be intimate with my Hubby.

Best moment of the week: Finding out that my babies were safe and sound in there.

Hows Daddy?: Daddy is relieved. He was so worried about the 3 of us through all this. He has been very attentive and making sure we are alright.

Some funny/cute things Hubby has said (at least I think they are): The Hubby has been cracking lots of jokes about how the babies are just like him. Stubborn! LOL! They never want to cooperate when the techs need to take measurements.

Nursery: I have been starting to think about how I want to decorate the nursery. It doesn't seem real. I am actually going to decorate a nursery!

Sunday, October 14, 2012

my trip to the er

First, I want to assure you that Squirt, Roo and I are all fine.

I woke up at 6:30 this morning to go to the bathroom. When I wiped, there was bright and dark red blood soaking the toilet paper. I wiped a few more times and it didn't let up. It wasn't just spotting. It looked like the start of my period. I wasn't cramping just bleeding. I had brown and pink spotting in the past that was blamed on my cervix being irritated after sex, but this came out of nowhere. I started to cry, said a little prayer while I sat there and this wave of "everything is fine" came over me. I don't know how to explain it, but I just knew my babies were alive in there even though I can't feel them.

I cleaned up, threw on a pad and woke my Hubby to tell him I was calling Dr Monty. The answering service gave me the covering Drs number so I called and left a message. When he called me back I explained everything and he suggested I go to the ER so they can check me out. He told me the worst and best case and told me not to rush and please don't get into an accident. We both took a quick shower and we left.

The ER was basically empty when we got there so I went right in, put a gown on and they started an IV. I have never been in the ER for myself, only bringing others. I've only had an IV once 2 years ago when I had my wisdom teeth removed. I was knocked out almost as soon as it went in and it was removed before I completely came to so I hardly experienced it. The nurse tried my left forearm first and missed. You should see the bruise, it's huge! Then, he tried the right and got it.

I thought I would be fine because of all the bloodwork and needles I have experienced, but since I didn't eat and was nervous for my babies, I passed out. The Hubby told me I was gagging while I was out and when I came to they had a bucket ready for me. I'm glad because this horrible wave of nausea came over me and I threw up and dry heaved for a few minutes. Between passing out and then throwing up I was soaked in sweat, but felt great when the dry heaving passed.

I was then rolled into U/s. The tech was so nice. I laid there squeezing the Hubby's hand. The Hubby could see the screen, but I couldn't. After a few minutes of quiet I asked the tech if there were heartbeats. She said "Oh honey, yes they are moving around a lot and their heartbeats look great!" I was relieved and when I heard them I started to cry again. The Hubby told me after that he was one move at that point but couldn't see much because the tech was moving around so quickly measuring a lot so he didn't know what he was seeing. I was in there for a while. The Hubby said she was measuring a lot. Their heads, feet and he asked the tech what the color was. She apparently did blood flow. Not sure if it was their hearts or placenta. When she was done she said everything looked good.

While we were waiting to be brought back to the ER, Jason Mraz, I won't give up came on the radio. I started to cry again. The Hubby asked me if I was ok and I told him yes, I was crying because of the song. He just smiled at me.

The tech came back in and said everything looked good, but the radiologist wanted to see them herself. The radiologist was so nice too. The tech went over all the important things with her and they talked out loud so we could hear about everything. Both babies heartbeats were good. They were moving around. Roo had apparently go to sleep after the first U/s so the tech jiggled my belly a bit with the transducer to wake him/her up again. Every time she jiggled my belly I couldn't help but laugh at my stubborn little one. My cervix was long and closed. Their placentas are far from my cervix. I told them where their placentas were at the last U/s and they were in the same places. The radiologist then turned the screen and told me they are my babies so I should be able to see them. It was so great to see them moving around.

The Dr in the ER said according to the U/s, bloodwork and urine everything looked good and he is not sure why I am bleeding. He said he spared me the pelvic exam since I wasn't bleeding a whole lot. By the time we left I only had a little blood on the pad and everything new was brown. I was told to take it easy today and see Dr Monty in the next couple days for a follow up.

Thank God it stopped. I hope it doesn't happen again, but I have a feeling this won't be the last time.

Friday, October 12, 2012

finally time to make blankets to keep and i'm lost

Since it's national I Love Yarn Day I decided to talk about crochet. More specifically finally crocheting a blanket to keep or 2 for that matter :)

Over the years I have made blankets, teddy bears and other things for friends and family. I have always wanted to make some for my own children and wondered what I would make, but the thought never went further than that. I never actually thought about it more and sat down and found a pattern and colors that I wanted to use.

This past week I finally sat down, looked through my patters and scoured the internet and the only thing I found was myself completely lost.

Why is it so easy for me to make the perfect blanket for someone else, but nothing seems right for my kids? I have always been able to find the perfect pattern and colors that suited the parents of the baby. They were each unique and perfect for them and now as the babies grow they love the blankets.

Am I putting too much pressure on myself to make the perfect blanket? I don't feel like I am. Maybe I am just really that picky. I know I wouldn't be picky if someone made a blanket for my children. I know I would love it. I have found a few patterns that I like, but they just don't seem right and I have no idea why.

I never wanted to find out the sexes of our babies until I thought more about making blankets for them. Part of me thinks it might be easier to figure out what I want to make if I knew the sexes. I have no idea why because it's not like I want to make "boy" or "girl" blankets. I still don't really want to find out, but this is the only thing that is making me unsure. I want to make something for each of them that will grow with them. Something that they will like for a long time like I did with my blanket. Mine was variegated yellow and white because my parents didn't find out my sex. I loved it and kept it till I couldn't fix it anymore. Threw it out about a week before my wedding. That blanket was a comfort, a toy and so many other things over the years, including a tree skirt once. I want my kids to have the same thing. It was so special.

I feel kinda crazy thinking that they wouldn't totally love anything I make. I know they will. Something keeps holding me back. Maybe it's just because I have been dreaming about this for so long it has become a big deal for me and then with the added pressure of making 2 at the same time.

So, now I am asking for your help. Please give me some ideas. If you want give me links to some patterns, knit or crochet, please do. I obviously can't figure it out even with my Hubby's help so maybe one of you out there can spark an idea. This has become an all out quest to find our babies' blankets to keep.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

13 weeks

Due date:  According to my ovulation day my due date is April 16, 2013.

How far along?: 13 weeks

Total weight loss/gain: The day before the IUI I was 206. This morning I was 203.6. Looks like I'm down a pound from last week, but that is ok. The babies are growing right on track! I wonder if I will gain much since I was overweight to start with. Still trying to stuff my face as much as possible!

What's going on with the babies?: Yesterday we had the 13 week visit at my OBGYN and then the NT scan at the perinatologist. Both visits went great! Poor ol' wandy was left lonely at both offices and the abdominal transducer was used for the first time! I am so used to ol' wandy that this was an entirely new experience to get used to. I'm not used to the pushing on my belly yet. It doesn't hurt, but it feels strange. We saw them at my OB, but his machine is old and the pictures aren't clear. We also heard their heartbeats with a small hand held doppler for the first time! It took him a little while to find them, but when he did it was so wonderful to hear. We haven't heard them since 8 weeks! The images we saw at the perinatologist were amazing! They have an awesome machine there and the office is beautiful! The tech was so friendly and funny. She was so excited for us!

It is amazing how much they have grown it the last 2 weeks! They look like little people now! They have profiles! We saw their little noses and lips! Their legs and feet were so clear and kicking around so much! As of right now their profiles almost look the same and they are facing the same way on the U/s, so the only difference I saw was Roo had his/her legs up and tight to his/her chest and Roo was laying pretty straight. Roo measured 12w3d and Squirt measured 13w. We now know their positions. Originally Roo was baby a the first sac and heartbeat we saw. Apparently Squirt is now baby a since s/he is lower. As of yesterday Squirt is butt down sitting in my pelvis more to my right and the placenta is lateral right. Roo is higher on my left and laying with his/her head to my left and probably kicking Squirt in the head LOL! Roo's placenta is anterior to the left. The tech said we will probably have our hands full with Squirt since s/he was so active.

Both of their NT measurements looked good according to the tech. I kinda remember what she said, but I m not going to look it up. It really doesn't matter what the numbers are. I'm only doing all the testing because the Hubby likes all the technology and since it's twins we want Dr Monty to have as much info possible to make the best decisions he can at the birth to make sure they are safe. My cervix is long and closed YAY!!! She measured by abdominal U/s. When I go back in 4 weeks they will measure with ol' wandy. I think they said after I come back in 4 weeks I will be going every 2 weeks and alternate cervix check and growth check. I will still be going to Dr Monty every 2 weeks.

New pictures on the Roo and Squirt page!

What's going on with my body?: I guess the tech was pushing pretty hard since she had to get through my chubby belly LOL. I actually woke up with a bruise on my lower belly this morning. Not surprised since I bruise easily. Kinda glad I have 2 weeks to heal a bit before the next U/s. I hope my belly gets used to it. My boobs have been pretty sore this week. Maybe a surge in hormones? I also went back to feeling kinda gross at night again. I just have to keep eating and it goes away. I used to take my vitamins with dinner, but since feeling gross I gag on them and threw up my dinner once. Now I just take them some time during the day whenever I feel great. I have been feeling a lot of pulling this week! Lots of tugging behind my belly button. Now I know it definitely was because they were growing fast! I woke up 2 mornings with lots of brown mucous and yesterday morning with pink streaked with red. I told my Dr, but I wasn't too worried. I had no cramps and it went away in an hour. I have no idea what the 2 days of brown was, but I have a feeling the pink/red was cervix irritation again. I guess my body doesn't like sex right now.

What does the belly look like?: The crease at my belly button is definitely getting more shallow. I can feel it when I put my hand over it and my jeans are getting tight right at that area. I'm not sure if I really look any bigger. My Mom and aunts don't see it yet and I can't really see it unless I'm naked.

Maternity clothes: Well, I think I have reached the point of no return. My jeans are pretty comfy when I'm standing, but over the past couple days I have to unbutton them when I sit. We went for hibachi on Sunday night and in the middle of dinner I had to not only unbutton, but unzip too! Thank goodness I was wearing a long loose shirt. I will be getting maternity pants this week!

Movement: I felt a little movement last night and the night before. To me it feels like a little muscle spasm or twitch deep in my pelvis. It feels so cool! I can't wait to feel more!

Sleep: I'm not waking up to change positions much anymore. I think I have been while sleeping. I still wake up sometimes with hip and thigh pain, but my body might be getting used to it. I haven't been waking up much to pee in the middle of the night. Some nights not at all. I try to stop drinking so much 2 hours before bed and it works. It feels great to sleep straight through.

Cravings/aversions: I have had a big craving for chocolate milk this week. I mix up a big glass of ovaltine and it is soooo good. I try to limit one glass a day, but sometimes the craving is too strong. I also was craving hibachi this week. I told the Hubby we had to go! I stuffed my face that night. It was sooo good! Still can't handle baked goods. That aversion better be gone by Thanksgiving because I want to be able to enjoy some pumpkin pie!

Sex of the babies: I thought we had made the decision that we are not going to find out. I didn't want to and the Hubby did, but is fine and excited about waiting. That was the decision until this week. I started to have second thoughts. The only thing tripping me up? I want to make a special blanket for each of them. I know I can even if we don't know the sexes and I have no problem making a more "feminine" blanket for a boy or vise versa, but right now I feel it will be more special if I knew. I have post coming together on that to explain more.

Names: We have a bunch more names on the list now. We just wrote down ones that struck us. As soon as I get my book back from my cousin we can go through, find some more and then narrow it down.

What I miss: Sleeping on my belly. I didn't realize how much I missed it till I got to lay face down on a special maternity massage table when I got a massage this week. It felt great!

What I am looking forward to: I am looking forward to feeling lots more movement!

Mood: Overall I have been feeling great. A little emotional over a few things, but great!

Milestones: I am either at the end of my first trimester or the beginning of my second. Either way it's a bit deal!

Medical concerns: Just the brown and pink spotting, but I don't think there is anything to be concerned about.

Sex?: It's great, but I don't think my cervix likes it right now. I kinda feel sore all over after too. I guess we gotta try some new ways and see what works better.

Best moment of the week: I had 2 awesome moments. I went for my first prenatal massage. It was amazing. I was able to lay face down on an awesome maternity table that the middle drops out with mesh to cradle my boobs and belly. The massage was amazing. I needed it. So relaxing!

The second was yesterday at the perinatologist. Seeing our babies again so clear and getting a first glimpse of what they look like.

Hows Daddy?: Daddy is doing great! He was so engrossed watching the U/s at the perinatologist. I felt like he was a part of it. He kept making comments and asking questions. I could feel how he connected with our children. He has been rubbing my belly and kissing them goodnight.

Some funny/cute things Hubby has said (at least I think they are): The Hubby's new thing is asking me to tell the babies things. He knows they can't hear him yet, but apparently I am telepathically connected to them and they can hear me! LOL! I thought that was kinda cute and an interesting thing to think about.

Nursery: Still clean! I am doing a great job keeping up with the house. Keeping it organized and clean. may not be a big deal for some, but it's a big thing for me!

Monday, October 8, 2012

i think i feel something going on in there!

I think I felt a little bit of movement last night! Not a lot, but it was definitely something.

I have read from so many people that it feels like butterflies, bubbles or a fish in a bag of water and that is what I was waiting for. Last night while I was laying on my left side, I felt a twitching deep in my pelvis. Have you ever had a muscle spasm or twitch in your arm or leg? That's what it felt like, but a little different. It lasted on and off for about 3 minutes. I was so excited! I stayed awake and still for about an hour willing it to happen again, but it didn't.

I woke up this morning wondering if it was just a spasm. Maybe I didn't feel movement. The thought bummed me out so I googled. Apparently it can feel like that! Then I texted my bestie. She confirmed she felt that too at one point! This made me really happy!

As I type this I feel it again! A little twitching that moves a bit. It is so amazing!!! I can't wait for more and the day the Hubby can feel it too. I just got a little upset when I told him I feel it again. I told him I feel like he is missing out on so much. I wish he could feel everything. He said it shouldn't be too long before he can and he will experience it through me till then.

So, when did you first feel movement and what did it feel like? Did it ever feel like twitching or a muscle spasm?

Sunday, October 7, 2012

spilling the beans

Well, everyone knows now!

At around 9 weeks we decided to tell our parents. We bought 3 little brag books to put all the U/s photos in. For mine and Hubby's Mom we got this one and for Hubby's Dad and step Mom we got this one. When I saw the one for our Moms with the 2 giraffes on them I had to get them. So perfect for twins and I love giraffes. I scanned all the U/s photos into the computer and added some words and little arrows to show them what they were looking at.

My FIL and step MIL got their book first. We had mailed it to them in Florida and I wrote on the box that they couldn't open it till they called us. So when they called us we told them to open it. I was shaking so bad from both nerves and excitement! When they saw the baby book they knew and were so excited and congratulated us. We had to tell them to open the book because we put pictures in it. It was pretty quiet as they flipped through. 5 weeks amniotic sac seen, 6 weeks heartbeat seen. Then they got to the second 6 week pic of the 2 sacs. I wrote on the bottom 6 weeks second sac seen, maybe twins???

We knew when they got to that point. Step MIL screamed and was repeating over and over "OMG is it twins?" She must have said it a dozen times before we could get a word in LOL! We just told her to turn the page to find out. 7 weeks 2 heartbeats seen! It's twins! They were so excited and happy for us. FIL is always quiet on the phone, but when he did talk I could tell he was smiling ear to ear and couldn't contain the joy. This made me feel so good. It was a really nice experience telling him since he is now Dad to me.

The next day we went over to my Moms and MIL. When my Mom opened the book she asked me, "Is this for now or when it happens?" When I told her it was for now she started to cry and gave Hubby and I a big hug. I had to tell her also to open the book. When she got to the 6 week pic of the 2 sacs and read the caption she looked up at us with a pig smile and asked if it was twins. We told her to keep flipping. When she saw it was she cried more and squished me with a really tight hug.

Even though we have not had a good relationship, when it came to talking about our treatments and IF she always surprised me and was exactly what I needed at the moment. This time was no different. She kept saying how she never gave up hope and knew it would happen for us. She knew how long we had been trying and was so happy that we were blessed with 2. Hubby joked around with her saying we are catching up on lost time having 2. She said so many perfect and sweet things and I will always remember them.

After my Mom we went to my MIL. I had texted her and asked if she was home and if we could stop by. She told us she was home, but her friend A was over. A is her best friend. So we told her to let us know when A leaves. A left not to long after, but not without them talking about why we were dropping by. A said she bet I was pregnant and told MIL to call her to tell her why we stopped by. So, when we got there we gave her the book. She instantly burst into tears. My MIL has been waiting for Grandchildren. All her friends have them and she was going baby crazy! We has to tell her to open it. She studied each picture and cried some more. Then, she got to the 2 sac pic. She looked up at us and cried some more asking if it's twins. We told her to keep flipping. With each page brought more tears. She got up ad gave us hugs and told us how happy she was. She must have looked through the book a million times while we were there. Flipping through just amazed at the pics.

At about 10 weeks we finally got to get out to visit Hubby's brother and his girlfriend and see their new house. It was his brother's birthday in a few days so we got him a cake and wrote on it "Happy Birthday Uncle C" When we got there we toured the house and went out to lunch. my MIL was so excited for us to tell them she was bugging me a bit asking when. When we came back to the house we had him open the cake so he could cut it. When he opened it he looked at us and back at the cake a few times. Then asked us "Is there something you 2 need to tell us?" I told him to read the cake aloud. When he did his girlfriend M jumped up and asked if I am pregnant. Hubby and I said yes. They both said "OMG really?" a few times and gave us big hugs. Then we showed them the book. M was flipping through reading the captions and when she got to the double sac she screamed, showed C and asked if it was twins. When we said yes M burst into tears and hugged me so tight and wouldn't let go. She said things like "what a blessing!" and "2 is so awesome!" It was such a great day!

At our 11 week U/s we saw Roo and Squirt wiggle around for the first time. The day after I was so excited and wanted to tell everyone soon. The Hubby has a small family and the extended family he does have aren't close, so really the only people left to tell was my big family.

My cousin K texted me and asked if I wanted to meet her for lunch like we sometimes do. I told her I would pick her up and then immediately texted the Hubby. I told him I couldn't wait anymore and wanted to tell my cousins K and T first. He told me to go ahead and he has been ready for a while. So, when I picked up my very pregnant cousin K I told her right away. She was so extremely happy and excited for us she was bouncing around in the car. Throughout lunch she kept saying how happy and excited she is for us. I called cousin T and she was extremely excited for us too.

That night I was on the phone for about 5 hours straight calling my family. I have a big family and we are all close. Most of my aunts were crying when we told them because they knew about our long journey. I was on the phone with each of them a long time. My family likes to talk LOL! Especially my Momma. I think I was on the phone with her for over an hour and other than answering a few questions, I don't think I talked much. She just went on and on about how happy she was, she couldn't believe it was twins and how we will be amazing parents.

My family said some amazing things to us when we told them. So much support and excitement. I will never forget it and can't wait to tell our children all about it.

Friday, October 5, 2012

12 weeks

So, I am late again with this post. What else is new? LOL! I wrote it on Tuesday the 2nd. I decided to join NaBloPoMo this month and I am going to get back into writing. I do love it and miss it, I just think I am getting a bit lazy about it. I want to get back to it so I plan on posting every day this month. If I don't have a post for a day I will be using the NaBloPoMo prompts.

Due date:  According to my ovulation day my due date is April 16, 2013.

How far along?: 12 weeks

Total weight loss/gain: The day before the IUI I was 206. This morning I was 204.6. I gained a bit back. Probably because I sat home on my butt most of this week. It was so nice.

What's going on with the babies?: Roo and Squirt should be about 2 inches (5cm) from head to tushy.

What's going on with my body?: Most of this week my hips and thighs have been really sore especially when I get up in the morning. I think it was mostly from sitting home most of the week. Overall I feel great. Having lots of pulling and pinching. I think these babies are having a growth spurt! I have been having hot flashes in the shower. I tried turning it as cold as I could stand, but they still happen.

What does the belly look like?: The crease at my belly button is definitely getting more shallow! Almost flat!

Maternity clothes: My jeans still fit great when standing, but are getting a little too tight sitting down. It may be time.

Movement: They are moving a lot, but I can't feel them yet!

Sleep: I have been waking up a lot to change positions because my hips are hurting and my top leg falls asleep. That's new. I hope its a short term thing.

Cravings/aversions: Definitely getting hungry more often now. No real cravings. Just the thought of cake or cookies still grosses me out.

Sex of the babies: I think we will wait till they are born to find out.

Names: We finally started a list. So far it's only 2 names, but we will add more. I still need to get my name book back from my cousin K.

What I miss: Can't think of anything I miss!

What I am looking forward to: I am looking forward to seeing Roo and Squirt on Monday! We will see them at Dr Monty and then we have the NT scan and cervical check at a perinatologist. Twice in one day! I have a feeling they have grown a whole bunch!

Mood: I felt an overwhelming feeling this week of how blessed I am. It brought me to tears a few times.

Milestones: We reached 12 weeks!!! Dr Monty said he considers this basically the end of the first trimester! I was told I can now go to the dentist and go for a prenatal massage! I have one booked!

Medical concerns: Sinus infection and yeast infection are gone YAY!

Sex?: Since I'm finally over everything, it's time to have some fun!

Best moment of the week: Telling my whole family that I am finally pregnant!!! I will post about it soon.

Hows Daddy?: Daddy is finally feeling better! I think he is really connecting with the babies now. Every morning when he leaves for work he gives me a kiss and then gives my belly a kiss and tells them he will see them later. At night he does the same thing. He kisses and tells all 3 of us goodnight. His hand is on my belly more often too throughout the day.

Some funny/cute things Hubby has said (at least I think they are): A few times this week he asked if the babies could come out and play yet. When I tell them they can't he gives me a funny looking pout and says he wants to hold them and play with them.

Nursery: The nursery looks the same as the last picture and probably will for a while. I just have to keep it clean and junk free!

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

to tell you the truth...

I'm scared of having a girl.

The first thing that comes to mind when I think about having a daughter is we will have the same horrible relationship that my Mom and I have. That thought is so stupid to me, but still scares me. My Mom and I are so different. I am not like her. I made sure of it. All the things I hate about her personality and how she handles things I made sure I did not follow in her footsteps. If I caught myself doing something that she would do I stopped, thought about it and changed my ways right then and there and never did it again.

I have done so much to not be like her so why and I still so scared?

My therapist has told me there are a lot of people with the same fear and how having a daughter can be amazing because of the fear. She says raising a daughter the way I want to and giving her all the things I didn't get in my own relationship with my mother can be healing. Healing through raising your children. That sounds amazing to me.

I am also a little nervous about experiencing the father daughter relationship between my Hubby and a daughter. Other than pictures I have seen, I have not experienced that. I would love to see it first hand, be a part of it and I will be so happy to give my daughter another thing I didn't have, but I know sometimes it might be upsetting seeing what I missed out on. I wonder if that would be another healing experience through our children?

I was talking to my cousin T last night and I told her about my fear. She reminded me that God does not give us anything we can't handle. I often repeated that through the years of IF. Now I find myself repeating it today. If He gives me 1 or 2 girls it's for a reason and I can do it even if I am scared. If I do have a girl maybe He is giving me that chance to heal because I need it.

I guess we will see. I am still scared, but hopefully I wont' be as much by the time Roo and Squirt get here.

Any Moms out there experience this? Healing through your children?
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