Tuesday, June 12, 2012

the new plan

Well...not really new just with some added stops. I decided I need a break and it feels so good to just do it.

Last month I had the need to just keep moving forward. I had to just jump right into IUI #5. We were having issues with the insurance so I rushed and did everything I could so we could start the cycle. We just made it and I was relieved.

The original plan was and still is we do 6 IUIs, 3 with clomid, 3 with follistim and then move onto IVF. My beta for IUI #5 is on Friday. No matter what the result is I am going on vactation.

It will be my Godson, Little L's 1st Birthday at the end of the month and I decided to fly to North Carolina for a week to celebrate and visit. It will be bittersweet. On one hand I am so excited to go. I miss my Cousin T and Little L so much and it always feels like a vacation when I am there. On the other hand I'm a bit bummed because Little L is turning 1. It has been another whole year. I remember all the time TTC before during and after T's pregnancy and it hurts. I also know they will be most likely be trying for #2 soon and it is killing me just thinking about it. T and I talk about everything so I think I will talk to her about that. I will probably ask her if she will tell me if they are going to try soon so I can wrap my head around it now and not feel like I have been slapped across the face when she announces she is pregnant for the 2nd time most likely before I am for the first.

I will absolutely be shocked if the beta is positive on Friday. If it is then YAY I get to be frisked at the airport instead of going through the Xray machine and I will have to try and hide not feeling well while away if it starts. I will gladly and excitedly welcome it all!

So the new plan with a negative test on Friday is to take the next cycle off. Relax and regroup. Then, we will start the last IUI cycle. This will be our last chance before IVF and ya know what? I think I have basically come to terms with it. We will try one more time and then move onto something that will give us amazingly better chances of conceiving. If we do a fresh transfer I could be pregnant just after we hit the TTC 3 year mark.

Back when we started treatments I made a long term goal with the help of my psyc. I obviously wanted to be pregnant that month, but deep down I knew it wasn't reasonable and would hurt making that goal each month. So the long term goal was to be pregnant by Labor day. Labor day 2009 we started TTC. I will have to tell you about that Labor day some time.

By taking this break I am pushing everything back a month and will probably not reach that goal, but I am ok with that. I need a break. We are getting closer and closer to having children and if I have waited almost 3 years I can wait another month.

15 comments:

  1. I'm so glad to hear you're taking some time off because you really want to. Have a great time on your trip and you'll come back refreshed and relaxed!

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  2. A vacation will do you some good. But I'm still hoping for a good beta result.

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  3. It's so difficult to decide to take a month off, but it can be so beneficial to do something for yourself and to give your body and mind a break. Of course, I'm hoping you don't need that break and will get good resutls on Friday, but I'm happy to know you're prepared for the next step.

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  4. It sounds like you are in a really good place! Hopefully, you don't have to take a break, but if you do then taking a vacation is a good way to spend it.

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  5. Taking some time off will be good for you! I know how emotionally draining it is and even trying to forget for a week will feel nice! Though I'm still hoping you get frisked at the airport ;)

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  6. A week away sounds like just the right kind of treatment for both good and bad news. Hoping it's all good from here on out though :)

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  7. Sometimes a break is all you need to recharge mentally and physically. Wishing you all the best!

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  8. It sucks taking time off but definitely necessary in this game. I have often forgot how taxing some of these treatments can be.

    Hoping for the best on Friday!

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  9. Good on you honey! I will still pray that this cycle is it for you, but I think a break will be so good for you.

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  10. Yey for a holiday! Mine was so very needed. Enjoy enjoy enjoy.

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  11. Fingers crossed for you that you get a positive! A getaway sounds so nice, but I have to wait till August for mine.

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  12. Enjoy your break! Hopefully it will do you as much good as mine has done me.

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  13. Good for you for taking a month off,I think the key to getting through this battle (and keeping most of our sanity) is knowing our limits...if we need a month off WE NEED A MONTH OFF!
    With that being said I'm still praying for a BFP for you.
    We are nearing the 3yr mark of TTC too, and IVF is our next step too...makes me wish we were closer to each other, we could sit and talk and play with yarn together.

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  14. Thanks everyone. It will be nice to take a break.

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