getting stronger

First I want to thank everyone for all your kind words and your support. I got very upset. It definitely was a combination of things. I cried most of the night on the Hubby's chest. We had a very long talk. He actually spoke more than a couple words and didn't just listen to me cry and spew my thoughts. I was so shocked I just cuddled, silently cried and listened as he pet my head.

He said everything I needed to hear. He reassured me that we could do this and that we will do as much as I can handle. He told me how strong I am. I told him my worries about money if we do end up doing IVF and he told me we will make it work and then said we are not going to worry about that till we need to. He went over our plan again with me. We had decided to do 3 IUIs and then talk to out RE about possibly changing meds like she suggested.

I know how he feels about everything, but it was amazing to actually hear him talk about it all. I feel like we connected in a whole new way. The next day, thinking over everything, I realized that our relationship is getting stronger. It is such an amazing feeling.

 When I get stressed or upset I get a whole lot of nervous energy. I walk around the house and try to find something to do to let it out. I clean or organize stuff or if I am really crazed I walk, fast. There have been times where I just walk and think and don't pay attention to where I am going. I have found myself almost 2 miles down our main road having to turn around because I am about 20 feet from getting on a highway. Since it's winter, every time I try to walk I freeze my butt off, so I usually go stir crazy around the house.

Last month I changed gyms. I hadn't worked out in about 2 months. I used to go to one of those women's fitness circuit work out places. I went there for a while before I got married and lost 20lbs. Most recently I was there for 4 months. It got boring and I just stopped going. I was doing the same thing every day and could only do it for a half hour. I didn't feel like it helped get all the nervous energy out that I needed. The new place is cheaper only $10 a month and it is for your average Joe. No body builders allowed! They have so many different machines and my favorite, the treadmill. I can walk and walk and keep on walking till I drop and it doesn't matter how cold it is outside!

This month I am going to really take care of me and make some changes so I feel better physically and emotionally. I am going to try and change my habits and keep them going. This week I started going to the gym every day. Last month I only went a couple times a week. Some days it is only for an hour and I just take a vigorous walk, but I feel so much better after. I listen to music and work out things in my head while I walk. I have slept so much better this week because of it.

I have seen a lot of people doing the weekly weigh ins and something called fitness pal. Maybe I will jump on the band wagon.