Monday, August 20, 2012

only one more sleep

Till the U/s tomorrow and it can't come fast enough!

I was doing great all week. Calm, relaxed and just enjoying myself. Then Saturday came and I told the Hubby I wanted to skip the weekend and have it be Tuesday! He was happy I couldn't magically make us skip the weekend. I was still relaxed, but just couldn't wait to see our baby!

I was fine until a little while ago.

The Hubby texted me. Apparently he needs to go on a last minute business trip and leaves tomorrow! He did tell them he couldn't leave till the afternoon so he will be there with me in the morning at the U/s.

I'm really upset now and getting nervous. I don't think I would be this nervous if he wasn't going away. I'm not going to say it, but you all know the what if I am thinking. What if and then I will be alone all week! I have a feeling he would cancel the trip. I don't think he would leave me then. I wish he waited till after the U/s to tell me he is leaving.

I guess, also, I didn't realize till now just how how fresh some of the heartbreak from this community is still with me.

Deep breath.

I actually feel a little better just getting that out. Still nervous, but I think a little less.

Deep breath.

Doesn't help that I feel like I have no control over my emotions right now. Maybe that's a good sign? I started to cry yesterday when the Hubby went to get himself a bagel and didn't ask if I wanted one. I told him he needs to be more thoughtful and ask me if I want something like I always ask him. LOL! I can't help but laugh at that now and call myself crazy! Yes sometimes he just thinks of himself, but it wouldn't bother me and I would NEVER burst in to tears! Sheesh! LOL!

Ok I am going to end there because now I am laughing at myself! Just need to keep this up for 17 more hours!

Gonna go keep myself busy! Maybe I will tell the Hubby we are going out tonight!

22 comments:

  1. Ultra sound tomorrow, how wonderfully exciting. I think you are allowed to feel a little wobbly momma, it is just natural after everything, and you are full of hormones too.

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  2. yay! so exciting!! can't wait to see your update tomorrow! i just KNOW it will be great. i totally understand your fears, but i hope that time flies for you :-)

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  3. Hoping for some really good news with the ultrasound tomorrow.

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  4. Bagels are one of my favorite things on earth. If my partner took off and picked one up, I would freak out if he didn't get one for me. And I'm not pregnant. Totally justified. Sending lots of positive vibes for you and your husband at the ultrasound tomorrow!

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  5. AH how exciting/nerve wracking! I still cry at everything. It's really sad, pun intended ;-). I know how you feel about your appt tomorrow. I feel that way before every single appt. My hubs is out of town too and will be for our next appt. I too think "what if" and I hate that I think this way, but I can't stop it from happening. I am praying for you, and yes, I'll be stalking your blog for an update.

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  6. I was so so so so so nervous before the first ultrasound. My palms were sweaty and I thought I was going to cry in the waiting room. Good luck tomorrow morning, I'm hoping you get good news and maybe a good picture to share with us :D

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  7. Deep breath.

    You can do this. After all, we do hard things. So put you hand on your belly and smile.

    But only after you take a breath. Much love and positive thoughts coming your way.

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  8. Just remember, this (anxiety filled time) too shall pass. Can't wait to hear about your baby/babies!

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  9. So excited for you tomorrow! Your apprehension is so natural. But I can't wait to hear how tomorrow goes!

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  10. AHHHHHH I want it to be NOW!!! Can't wait!

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  11. So excited for you! Luck, Love and Prayers sent your way :)

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  12. I'm so excited for you too! I was so nervous too, except I was nervous for weeks as we had to wait until week 15! Can't wait for a new picture of your baby!!

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  13. I think you are totally entitled to a bagel if your husband is getting one. I've cried over similar things. ;)

    On the one hand, it's GREAT to have this community to support you. On the other hand, sometimes it can feel a little overwhelming to know what can go wrong, and to be surrounded by so many people for whom things have gone wrong. BUT: here is something important to remember ... every pregnancy is different. And YOU are different. And you will continue to breathe, and we will hold you.

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  14. Your nervousness is totally understandable! The fears, nervousness and joy will come and go, which is all normal. Hopefully there will be more joy and happiness than anything else.

    And I agree with jhl (previous comment), this community is great and supportive, but at times it is a bit overwhelming. As she said, keep in mind every pregnancy is different.

    So excited to hear about your appointment.

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  15. Good luck!!! That first scan is so magical :)

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  16. Best of luck to you today! Hoping you get some cute pictures of your new baby to share! :)

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  17. Hi from ICLW! I was an emotional wreck before every single U/S after my miscarriage. I hope it goes very well and you get some good pictures to admire :)

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  18. Stopping by from ICLW. Sending good thoughts for your ultrasound! Your symptoms sound very reassuring but I know it can be nerve racking.

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  19. been thinking about you all day! hope to get an update soon :-)

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  20. Thank you everyone for your kind, sweet words. They kept me sane during the wait for the U/s. I really can't thank you enough!

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  21. Glad you were able to cheer yourself up a little by the end of your post. I can totally relate to being an emotional crazy person - I feel that way from all this fertility medication.

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