perfect moment monday: meeting bloggy friends

Lori says Perfect Moment Monday is about noticing a perfect moment rather than creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between.


Last week I was so lucky to meet 2 lovely bloggy ladies.

M was the first bloggy friend I have ever met. M, you should be honored to be my first! LOL! I had a fabulous time with her. We talked for a couple hours and then went on a little quest to find a place to eat. We ended up at a cute little sandwich/soup shop. The food was good and the conversation was great.

Then, we decided on a little friendly competition. Mini golf! It was fun and I still love you M even though you did kick my butt pretty badly hehehe.

We went back to her place and talked some more. I was honored to be able to meet her beautiful little babies Ryker, Tommy and MaryElizabeth and hear all about them. She showed me the beautiful presents she received and the amazing ways she is remembering and honoring them. I was so touched that she was comfortable showing me pictures of them and the bittersweet quiet moments of her and her Hubby holding their children. Their amazingly beautiful family photo made me smile and brought me to years at the same time.

I ended up staying a lot longer than I was planning. We basically talked for 7 hours straight. The day was filled with lots of great conversation, food, fun, laughter and tears. Thank you M for sharing so much of you with me.

I also was so lucky to meet up with Tracy. She is about 17? weeks pregnant with twins and I am so excited and happy for her. I think the socks I sent her helped ;). We met for lunch and had some great food and conversation.

Being able to talk to both of these women face to face was amazing. Even though we have been through such different things and are on completely different journeys they get it. Being able to say what is on my mind and things I've been through and know I don't have to explain or get stupid comparisons or comments in return is something I wish everyone in this community gets to experience at least once.

Those days were 2 of the best days I've had in a long time. Thank you so much ladies!

happy birthday to me and a giveaway for you

Today is my 29th Birthday!!! The Hubby and I have just been hanging out at home watching the Olympics. We are having some pretty severe thunder storms so after they pass we will go out for dinner. For my birthday we usually go for hibachi, I love hibachi, but I'm thinking maybe something different this year. Maybe fondue? We shall see. Tomorrow we will go to my Mom's house and celebrate with some cake. My little brother always has to celebrate every birthday with cake and had to wish you a Happy Birthday and sing. He is such a sweetie.

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When the Hubby and I started dating my birthday came up first. After he asked me what I wanted he joked around and told me he followed the hobbit birthday custom. At that time I had never read Lord of the Rings so I asked him to explain. So he told me about the hobbits.

“Hobbits give presents to other people on their own birthdays. Not very expensive ones, as a rule, and not so lavishly as on this occasion; but it was not a bad system. Actually in Hobbiton and Bywater every day in the year was somebody’s birthday, so that every hobbit in those parts had a fair chance of at least one present at least once a week. But they never got tired of them.”

J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

I absolutely loved the idea.

I have always been one of those people that if I find a little gift that I know a friend or family member would like I usually get it and give it to them right away. I am always bringing little things home for the Hubby. When I was a kid I was always so excited to put goodie bags together for my friends at my birthday party. It makes me happy to make others happy. Getting an unexpected gift usually can brighten someones day and it brightens my day. That is why I do giveaways.

So, for my birthday I am giving away 2 things that I made.

The first is a set of 4 coasters for wine glasses or any stemmed glassware. They stay around the bottom so they travel with you wherever you put it down. If you are like me and like an ice cold summer drink in a fun stemmed glass, the top of the fabric coasters will absorb any condensation that may drip down the stem so it doesn't ruin your wood tables. My MIL and I have been sewing these in all different colors for gifts for our friends and family and I thought I would share a fun set with you.
The picture doesn't show the true color. They are so much prettier in person.

The second is a mug cozy. I love having a nice hot cup of coffee or tea and I warm my hands around the mug as I drink it. The only thing is the mug is usually entirely to hot so I wrap my mug in a dish towel. At least I did till I made myself one of these. It's fun, soft and keeps your hands from getting burned. It fits a standard size mug and has a bottom so it doubles as a coaster.


If you would like to enter please leave a comment below. Anyone can enter.
Which do you prefer, a glass of wine/cold drink in a stemmed glass or a hot cup of coffee/tea/hot coco?

I will randomly the winners on Saturday August 4th! The first winner will chose which prize they want and the second winner will get the prize that is left. There will be 2 different winners.

our last IUI and my 2ww is gonna be awesome!

I've been INSPERMINATED!!!! (as Audrey says) for the last time. As far as I know I will never again have an IUI because if this doesn't work we move onto IVF.

But I am not going to think about that right now because this IS going to work, Right? Right!

We got to the office bright and early, cup o' spermies in hand. Actually it was in my bra to keep them warm and cozy. TMI? Anyone else do that?

Anyways, we handed them in to get all washed and ready and we went downstairs to the cafeteria for our usual pre-IUI breakfast. I had a chocolate chip muffin and some pineapple! Gonna be eating a lot more of that through hopefully implantation!

Then we were back upstairs and I got as comfortable as I could be under a paper sheet.Then Dr G (our real RE, we haven't had her on IUI day in a while) came in with a big smile on her face. "The meds Dr S added seem to be doing the trick" Then she told us that the Hubby's post wash count quadrupled! Our jaws dropped!

The percent motility and morphology went down a bit, but I think we are still on the positive end if you take into account the percent comparison. The Hubby figured it all out with his super math brains and we are happy. Dr G also told me how the other Drs who were monitoring me were a little on edge about letting us do the IUI since at my last U/S I had 5 follicles, 19, 18, 14, 13 and 12mm. We don't know if those little ones grew and matured since that morning before my trigger. Dr G knows though that we have MFI to take into account too so our chances are only slightly increased with more follicles. She was Ok with going ahead with it as long as we were.

The Hubby and I have had the multiples conversation many times just to make sure we are always on the same page. We know all the complications that could arise with multiples and we decided we will take anything that we get and do everything in our power to make sure me and my babies are healthy and safe. Plus the Hubby kinda likes the idea of BOGO. So, we went ahead and I was insperminated!

Dr G then told us to make sure we give each other some extra "hugs and kisses" tonight or tomorrow morning for an extra shot. LOL! She is such a sweet lady and I love how she put that. hehehe

Now I enter my 2WW and it is going to be awesome! Yes, I said 2WW and awesome in the same sentence. Here is why.

• Tomorrow I am going to finally meet a bloggy friend in person!!!!  and Thursday I am going to meet a second bloggy friend in person!!! You have no idea how excited I am!!!

• Saturday is my 29th Birthday! I don't care how old I get, I still love my Birthday!

• I will be doing a giveaway on my Birthday and giveaways always make me happy!

• The Hubby and I are going to go through and organize all our junk in our computer/catch all room and turn it into a guest room. His Dad is going to come and stay with us for a week in September and this finally gives us the kick in the pants to do it. Plus I am excited that we will be getting it all nice because this is also the future nursery and it will be clean and one step closer to being ready for a baby.

• Next week is the BlogHer conference in NYC. I am not going to the actual conference, but I will hopefully be going into the city and meeting up with some more bloggy friends!

•  I am also making plans for fun days with my guardian angel and some other friends I haven't seen is a while.

So I have a busy 2 weeks that will keep me positive.

I also wanted to say a big thank you to Dandelion Breeze! Back in the spring sock exchange that Cristy hosted (thank you for hosting!), Dandelion sent me socks. Unfortunately the post office lost them. I told her it was ok and not to worry about it, but she sent them again! I got them just in time for my IUI!

Some love from down under!

She also sent me a second pair of socks that are so soft, some treats and an adorable kangaroo with a little baby joey in her pouch, for good luck!

Isn't she cute holding a boomerang!

The little kangaroo came with me everywhere today in my purse.  It was nice knowing I had a little friend with me today.

Thank you everyone for thinking about me and wishing me good luck today. I think all those good vibes really worked! I have lots of follies and an amazing spermie surprise!

Swim spermies, SWIM!!! Please, PLEASE find an egg!

Praying I will soon have my own little joey growing in my pouch.

cycle update and a geeky connection

I went back to the RE today for my follicle check. Today is CD 9 and according to my bloodwork I am ready to trigger tonight, so my IUI will be Tuesday morning.

My lining is 11mm which is nice and fluffy (I love that word). I am so glad I don't have any issues with that. Lefty seems to be the winner this time with a 18mm and 19mm. Righty has a 14mm, 13mm and 12mm. Does anyone know if maybe the 14 might make it to be mature enough? Even if it doesn't I have 2 good ones on lefty. Praying though that 1 or 2 on righty release something. The more the merrier in our opinion.

Oh! I forgot to mention in my last 2 follistim cycles that I do have a side effect. I get major fatigue. It usually starts around my 5th or 6th injection and from there I could fall asleep any time of the day. This time it started after the 3rd injection since I was taking 150UI from the beginning. I take at least an hour nap every day and go to bed earlier than I usually do. I'm just totally pooped. A couple of days after the trigger shot my energy comes back full. It's crazy. Anyone else get that?

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I was talking to the Hubby today about how big those breakthroughs were for me. I was looking for some "I know how difficult it is to have faith and I'm glad you are back" sort of thing. Instead I got a shrug and a "Welcome to the club. I haven't lost faith at all". I then proceeded to cry a bit.

I told him how all I wanted to hear is that he knows how difficult it is for me and that he is glad that I have my hope and faith back. He felt bad that he upset me and that was not his intention. He told me he didn't want to say he knew how I was feeling because the truth of it is he doesn't and never will. He knows how hurtful it can be when my cousins try to say they know exactly what I am going through and belittle it by comparing me wanting a baby to them wanting a house/car or something of that sort (The house comparison really happened and it still stings) and he didn't want to be that person.

I assured him that is not how I would take it from him at all. Even though he may never know exactly what I am going through and how I am feeling, he is still going through this with me. He is in the trenches and in his own way knows how it feels. Then he went off explaining how he is in the only way he knows how, math/engineering.

"Some people are mathematical and some people are emotional" he said. We both giggled. "I am like 1+2=3 and you are like 1+2= >3". He went on to, "Trying to understand when you explain your emotions to me is like me trying to explain calculus to you". I told him, "I would understand...I guess in theory". "Right" he said. "I only understand what you are going through in theory".

I love when he talks like that. We finally connect about things that may have still been confusing to each other. I don't know if you guys can make any sense of it, but to us it worked.

I love that man.

cycle so far

I was so busy having a couple of wonderful breakthroughs, I almost forgot I wanted to do an update about the cycle I am in now. Medicated IUI #6.

Monday was the start with my CD3 U/S and bloodwork. Everything looked good so I started the follistim. This time they started me on 150UI instead of 75. My last 2 cycles they started me on 75 for 4 or 5 days and then increased to 125 or 150. Apparently it was the best thing because I am responding great!

I went in yesterday for CD6 check and everything seems to be going well. They said I had a bunch of growing follicles and my estrogen was rising perfectly. The Dr even commented that I have a perfect/textbook uterus. That made me giggle because I was told that 2 years ago by my OBGYN. I guess it's true. The only problem was of course my ovaries were hiding again. They always do so ol' wandy gets shoved up there so far and moved around so much I'm surprised they couldn't see my heart on the U/S machine! The Dr even wrote down in detail where she found each ovary so hopefully the next U/S is a little easier.

Well, I went back today and they must have moved again, because even with the detailed directions from yesterday they were hard to find. Do they make an ovary GPS? Maybe they should be captured, tagged with a tracker and then released back into the wilds of my pelvis? (been watching too many wild animal shows) With all the searching yesterday and today they really irritated my insides. I think the spotting is finally stopping.

Anyway, today I was told my estrogen is still rising perfectly. My lining is at 8mm and I have 2 - 13mm, 1 - 12mm, 2 or 3 - 11mm and a bunch of little ones. I continue with 150UI tonight and tomorrow and go back Sunday morning for another check. Come on follies grow!!!!!

On that note I need to go wrangle the Hubby off the computer so he can give me my shot. I like when he does it.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

in addition to my hope post

I got an email yesterday from a wonderful woman named Anne. Hi Anne!

She had emailed me last month to say hi and tell me a little about her journey. We seem to be having our IUI's around the same time.

In this email she shared a beautiful song about hope that really touched her called "It Might Be Hope", by Sara Groves. She also told me how one of the singers from that group struggled with IF herself.

Well, it really touched me too so I wanted to share it with all of you. It is a beautiful song. I hope you like it.

Than you again Anne!

In addition to my hope post.

You do your work the best that you can
you put one foot in front of the other
life comes in waves and makes its demands
you hold on as well as you're able

You've been here for a long long time

Hope has a way of turning its face to you
just when you least expect it
you walk in a room
you look out a window
and something there leaves you breathless
you say to yourself
it's been a while since I felt this
but it feels like it might be hope

It's hard to recall what blew out the flame
it's been dark since you can remember
you talk it all through to find it a name
as days go on by without number

You've been here for a long long time

Hope has a way of turning its face to you
just when you least expect it
you walk in a room
you look out a window
and something there leaves you breathless
you say to yourself
it's been a while since I felt this
but it feels like it might be hope

faith

FYI even though I am an Christian, I will not be talking about faith in God, rather the basic definition of faith as the complete trust or confidence in something. An even better definition is my absolute favorite quote/verse.

Now faith is being sure that what we hope for is going to happen and certain of what we can not see. Heb 11:1

I have always been a very faithful person, but last August when I was at my worst I felt like I had completely lost my faith. I still hoped so hard for a child, but lost the faith that is was actually going to happen. I wasn't certain anymore that my future included children.

When we finally started doing treatments my faith came back full force. I believed with all my heart that I would get pregnant and we would have a baby. Over 6 months and 5 medicated IUIs my faith was slowly lost again. It was just not going to happen and maybe I should get prepared to live child free. I had been sitting lost and negative for a long time.

Then about a month ago Kimberly said something in a post hit me like a ton of bricks.

"It doesn't matter how we get there, just that we get there and regardless of what we have to do or whose sperm and egg we may have to use, that child will be ours"

Even though my journey is different from hers those words stuck with me and became my new mantra.

And we WILL get there. Whether it be through IUI, IVF or adoption, someday we will be parents.

There have been many different times where I was scared to move on to the next thing. Like when we went from trying on our own to treatments. It took a long time for me to grieve the fact that we couldn't do it on our own. I was also scared to move from clomid to injections. Grieving again that we were moving onto another bigger step. It hurt that this had to be the way. I was angry that we had to go through this. It still does hurt and I am still very angry. I still have horrible days and feel overwhelmed. I will still grieve. Things still trigger jealousy and sadness and I am sure it will go on for a long time, but I am looking more now at the bigger picture.

A child of our own.

Because you see, it really doesn't matter what path we take. It doesn't matter how many mountains we climb -sure they may be steep and tire us out, rivers we cross -the current might pull us under or carry us away from our path or a while, miles and miles we travel -the sheer distance may be brutal. Eventually we will get there. I'm sure of it.

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes
And make a new beginning

Anyone can feel the ache
You think it's more than you can take
But you're stronger
Stronger than you know

Don't you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

It doesn't matter what you've heard
Impossible is not a word
It's just a reason
For someone not to try

Everybody's scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It'll be alright

Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

Overcome the odds
You don't have a chance
(That's what faith can do)
When the world says you can't
It'll tell you that you can

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do
That's what faith can do

Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

giveaway winner!!!

Thank you all for entering my little giveaway! Before I announce the winner I will answer the question I asked you. How many HPTs have I used?

4

Yes, only 4 in the almost 3 years of TTC. Truthfully, I am scared of them. I would rather just get my period than POAS and see a negative. I have no idea what I will do when I finally get pregnant. Will probably pee on one (or more) just to see the magic second line appear. Now OPKs I have used about 60 give or take a few.

So no one got the exact number, but I gave the points to Audrey for being closest without going over. She guessed 3. Unfortunately it didn't help you because the winner is...

Jenn @ The Future Fords

I hope your magnet gives you some giggles every time you see it.



Keep your eye out for another giveaway near the end of the month for my Birthday!!!



The winner was chosen randomly through rafflecopter. You can see the widget drawing announcement here.

hope

First I want to thank all of you for your amazing comments on my last post. I have read them over and over multiple times. Each time they bring on tears of joy and peace. I am overwhelmed by your comments. This time in a good way. You remind me and push me to do what I need to do and not give in. You give me the support I need. You are helping me be a better person to myself. Pushing me to stay strong and get rid of the guilt. It still amazes me how you, people I only know through the computer, care about me that much. Just as much as I care about you. And for that I am eternally grateful!

I also wanted to respond to a couple of comments. To Trisha and Kate (and everyone else who has a beautiful little miracle growing in your belly) PLEASE PLEASE know that I love you and would never want to stop reading and commenting on my blog. Your presence is a source of strength and hope. I am truly happy and excited for your little miracles and I am still reading your posts because I want to, just sometimes don't know what to say. And because of your and others support I know that it's ok.

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I have been thinking a lot about hope recently. How over the last 6 months and 5 medicated IUIs it has dwindled down to almost nothing. I started off full of hope, sure the IUIs were going to work and I would be pregnant by now. I was up till 4:30 am thinking about things and I realized it was more a defense mechanism rather than me actually losing my hope. My hope is still there. It has been there all along. I just buried it deep and covered it up after the disappointment of a few failed IUIs. Even though I buried it, a little part of it snuck it's way back out. I didn't want to hope anymore because if I did the sting of failure would be stronger. At least that is what lead myself to believe.

EmHart @ Follow Every Rainbow wrote a post recently about not wanting to have hope. I identified with this so much. Then, I read the comments and the one from Hapa Hopes really stuck with me.

"You have to embrace the hope. If you don't have hope, why are you going through all of this at all? I've tried quashing the hope, but you still end up just as disappointed in the end if it doesn't work. I like Carrie's Anne of Green Gables Quote. Embrace the hope and enjoy it. Even if you pretend you don't have hope, you'll still end up with a thud if it doesn't work the way you'd like it to."

Isn't it true? No matter how much you try to squash that hope you will still be just as disappointed if it doesn't work. So why not hope? Why not dream and enjoy every minute of it?

Probably one of the reasons why I was so overwhelmed in my last post is because unknown to me AF was on her way. I had taken the last month off from treatments and I took it off completely so I had no idea what CD I was on and when she was supposed to show up. She showed up late last night so today is CD1. We are starting medicated IUI #6 which is our last shot before we start IVF.

I am going back to the way I was in the beginning of treatments. I am going to fully embrace my hope. I'm going to do all the superstitious and fun things I want like wearing fertility socks (can't wait to get my first pair!), eating "fertility" foods, having a fertility reflexology massage and anything else I can think of. Do you have any suggestions? What do you do?

I am going to relax and have fun with it and if it doesn't work, we move on to the next step. I know it will work out in the end because with the hope I also have faith, but that's a post for another day.


Don't forget to enter my GIVEAWAY!!

overwhelmed

There have been a lot of surprise BFPs out there in blog land recently. You guys have no idea how excited and happy I am for you. I cried tears of joy for you when I read your posts. You got to be surprised. How friggin awesome is that!!!???

But with being happy, I am also a bit sad.

Borrowed from bloggersforhope.com

I have been so good for a long time. Being completely happy for all you out there who have beautiful babies growing in your bellies. I am still genuinely happy, but the jealousy has crept in very quickly over the last couple days and it is starting to overwhelm me. I hate feeling jealous! It makes me feel horrible, greedy and like I'm a bad person. I'm pissed at myself for feeling this way and I feel like you are going to be mad at me for feeling this way. I know that's stupid, but I can't help it. I'm still reading pregnancy posts, just not commenting. I feel guilty and don't know what to say, so I'm sorry. I know I will be back to my old self soon, but for now I need to take care of me. I hope you understand.

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Yesterday my Aunt called me to ask me about my cousin K's registry. K isn't registering. She is having her Mom do it for her. Like me you are probably like What? Why? Who wouldn't want to register and pick our things for your baby? Well, when I talk to K she tells me it's because she isn't interested in doing it. It's not a big deal. She doesn't want to. When I hear what she is telling everyone else the answer is she wants to be surprised like how it used to be when our parents and grandparents had babies. Two different answers and here is why.

Even though I told K from the beginning that I don't want her "walking on eggshells" around me she still does. We talk about her pregnancy and all different things related to baby, but overall she acts like she isn't excited about anything having to do with anything baby. I know she is doing this because she doesn't want to upset me, but it makes me upset and things I know aren't true run through my head like, Here I am wanting a baby so bad and she isn't happy or excited about being pregnant! The one thing that would make me the happiest and most excited!

So anyway, my Aunt calls me and starts asking me questions about things she should register for. After being around so many babies, nannying, and helping my pregnant friends and family with their registries I am basically a walking baby store and everyone knows it. After giving her a bunch of info she told me the login and password and told me to just add things she might have missed if I want. I think it's great that I know so much, but sometimes it makes me angry

If she had asked me to do this months ago or earlier I would have probably done it with no problem. I am still excited about it and want to do it, but now I know that some time in the middle of it or right after I will completely fall apart. The tears are welling up right now just thinking about it.

I talked about it with my therapist today and she reminded me that even though I have all this knowledge and I want K to have everything she needs, it's not my job and I don't need to do it. I can step back. I need to step back even if I really want to do it. For my own mental health. I was feeling good after therapy and then I checked my phone.

K had texted me and asked if I wanted to come over on Saturday and help her sort through all the hand me downs that were stored in my attic. She asked me because she knows how much fun it would be for me. I would feel a part of her pregnancy. I really, really, really wanted to say yes. I would love to sort through those little outfits, get all excited with her and dream of dressing my little one soon, but I know I just can't do it right now. So, I texted her back. "I'm kinda torn with the baby stuff. I know I would probably have fun sorting through and helping you, but I don't know if I can handle it emotionally right now. So, I think I am going to decline for Sat." That was 5 hours ago. Haven't heard anything back. She is probably upset now that she thinks she upset me and I probably won't hear from her for a week or so. Que me feeling guilty for upsetting her for upsetting me. Isn't that sick?

Not even 5 minutes after that I get a text from B announcing the birth of her baby. (the one I made this blanket for) She was born a week ago and because I am not on facebook anymore (thank goodness) I missed the announcement there. Her due date was 2 weeks ago so I was able to prepare myself. I figured she had the baby and was obviously too busy to text me. But why did I have to get that text on top of the other things that just happened? That was it. I started bawling right there in my car at a gas station.

I just got off the phone with the Hubby. He is away on business till tomorrow night. I told him the stories I just told you through sometimes incoherent sobs and he did what he could over the phone. I think he was a little lost. He couldn't hold me and tell me things would be ok and he is here for me because he is 800 miles and a timezone away, but he did his best and I can hold him tomorrow night and maybe then I will be less overwhelmed.

Don't forget to enter my GIVEAWAY!

wordless wednesday

just for fun giveaway!!!

OK my friends, it is time for a GIVEAWAY!!!

I have been thinking about doing one for a bit, but I couldn't think of what to give. The other day, while I was shopping, a magnet caught my eye. It reminded me of a lot of some of you ladies out there and made me laugh so hard I almost peed myself (which is kinda fitting)

This goes out to all you ladies who are obsessed with pee sticks!

Please use the Rafflecopter form below to enter. Anyone can enter. I will send out of the US. The winner will be drawn on Wednesday July 18th. If you know someone who loves POAS let them know about my giveaway!

There are 3 ways to enter and you can do all or some of them. Make sure you fill out the Rafflecopter form below for each entry.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

crochet show & tell: turtle pillow for little L

Like most of you already know, Little L is my Godson and I like to spoil him rotten. His was the first baby blanket I ever made.

Little L's blanket. Made a year ago.

For Little L's 1st Birthday I decided to make him something special like I did when he was born. Turtles have been in his nursery decor from the beginning since his Dad had 3 as pets. So, I decided to include a turtle and make him something he can use as he gets older.

I made him a pillow and he loved it! He was cuddling up on it as soon as he unwrapped it. So cute!

A cute turtle on the front and on the back I did his name. If anyone is interested, this is called tunisian crochet or afghan crochet. I made 2 big squares, whip stitched them together and then stuffed it with polyfill.

food and fun

I"m back from my vacation!!!

I had a great time, but a week is way too long for me to be away from the Hubby. I missed him too much.

I totally pigged out while away. I won't be surprised if I gained a little weight, but I'm home now and will get back on track.

We only had about 30 people at Little L's 1st Birthday party, yet enough food to feed about 60 or more people. His party was an all day affair from noon till after 9 and we ate the WHOLE time! LOL! That's my family! Everything was homemade. Lots of family recipes. We played games, went swimming and just had a great time visiting and chatting it up. Thank goodness for the pool because it was 105 F that day!

Little L loves Sesame Street. His favorite characters are Cookie Monster and Elmo, so everything was decorated for that. We even made some awesome cute Cookie Monster and Elmo cupcakes.

One night we went to a dive called Pinky's. They had some awesome food and we indulged it a lot of it. We ordered hushpuppies which is a must have when I visit, pimento cheese covered waffle fries and I had the Ding Dong style burger. Crunchy peanut butter, honey-cilantro slaw and hot sriracha sauce on a burger. It sounds so strange, but Oh.My.Gosh was it good!

We also finally went to the Lazy 5 Ranch. I have visited NC at least 7 times and we finally made it to the ranch this time! It is a drive through safari type place and all the animals live together peacefully. You can feed them and pet them as long as you stay in your car. Little L had an awesome time looking at all the animals.

One of the main reasons I have wanted to go there is because you can get close up to a giraffe. I have always loved giraffes, but have only seen them far away in zoos. I don't really have a bucket list, yet getting up close and maybe even pet a giraffe is something I have desperately wanted to do for a very long time.

Well, I did it! We pulled up to the gate and I stood on the seat with my head out the sunroof. I was 2 feet from theses beautiful creatures! I fed them and actually pet their noses! That one experience made my year! Getting pregnant will be icing on the cake!

I have a lot of blog reading to do! Hopefully I can catch up on everything in the next couple of days.

update on calvin

Hello all!

Just wanted to give you an update on Calvin. He did very well the 4 or so days at the animal hospital and was transferred to the bird sanctuary over the weekend. This makes me so happy! My little guy is thriving!

I'm still on vacation and having a great time. It's sometimes difficult being around Little L 24/7, a reminder of what I don't have. I have had to go off and cry a few times. There is also stupid things my fertile cousin has said that upset me, but I will get into that when I have more time.

It has been so hot here. In the high 90s most days and Saturday and Sunday was 104! Thank goodness for the pool!

Been trying to catch up on reading blogs, but probably won't till I get home so I'm sorry if I am missing any important things.

I was having such issues with my blog and I finally fixed it all.

And now I will leave you with something I am so proud of. This is the first time I fit into this shirt in 5 years! YAY!