so why am I so upset?
We knew it would be while I was still on the table after IUI #3. The odds were just not in our favor. We prepared for it. I didn't get my hopes up at all. Then why do I feel so defeated?
I know I don't want to give up, but my first thoughts were maybe we aren't meant to have kids. Maybe we should just sell this house that we wanted to grow a family in and just get a small condo. I will find a job (BTW I didn't get the job) and we will spend all our money on vacations. I cried and said all that to the Hubby. He laughed at me. I know he wasn't being mean, he just didn't know what to say to a crazy woman, so I laughed a bit too.
I know we aren't going to give up. We have our plan. We are taking the next cycle off so I can go for the mandatory injection classes and then we will be doing IUI #4. I don't know what injectable I will be using yet. I wish I could skip the class. I know how to draw up shots and give them. It used to be my job!
I have a massage on Thursday. I booked it when I got home from the IUI knowing I wouldn't be pregnant and could go. I feel like spending this next month sitting around listening to my IF mix, drinking beer and crying my eyes out while I crochet.
My brain just stopped working.