Today was CD8 (I am totally not paying attention so I had to look that up) I just write down each dose for each day as I get them and I don't pay much attention to anything else. I'm a little disconnected from this cycle and I think it is good for me. I took 75UI of follistim CD3-7 and tonight I bumped it up to 125UI. At today's u/s Dr G said I have a bunch of follicles, but they are still small. I take 125UI tomorrow night too and go back on Thursday for more bloodwork and an u/s.
Each night I have tried to hard to give myself the shot, but I just can't do it. I know I'm not nervous and shaking anymore like when I tried to do the ovidrel in our last cycles. I know it won't hurt. I have given myself shots of saline before when I was teaching patients how to give themselves insulin so it's not like giving myself a shot is new. I just can't do it now. I was getting angry at myself because I feel stupid that I can't do it. Then last night I think I figured it out.
I am just so emotionally invested in this that maybe it's a little overwhelming. I need someone to take some of the pressure off me and the Hubby giving me the shot does it in some strange way. Does that make any sense to anyone? So the Hubby gets to "jab/poke/stick/shoot me up"(it changes each night) every night. He seems to enjoy it and even might look forward to it. It may be fun to him, but I really appreciate that he does it for me and I tell him that every night.
Oh that makes absolute sense! We carry so much of the burdon in this journey that from time to time something has to give and we have to ask for help: be it in the form of our loved ones giving us the shots or, in my case, relinquishing my cherished kitchen duties and allowing Mr. Husband to prepare dinner when I'm too tired from all the progesterone. I think these little things are super important for them, too since it keeps them actively involved in.
ReplyDeleteNow, grow follies, grow!
I made my husband do all the shots except then he was out of town. I think it makes them a part of that whole process in the beginning and it is a good way for them to help support you through all the madness the drugs cause. I hope your days with shots will be less soon with the hopes of a BFP.
ReplyDeleteI also had hubby do the shots for me, even though I could have done them on my own. It made him feel empowered because he was a part of it. Of course, there was quite a bit of coaching on my end as the days progressed ("Try it more straight down instead of on an angle this time") and he was good at taking direction. Don't be afraid to coach your man a bit. Sometimes it doesn't matter how he does it -- one day it will hurt and the next day in the same spot it won't hurt at all! It's such a crapshoot.
ReplyDeleteJ used to help out with the shot routine for each of my IVFs. I told him its only fair that since I have to take the hormones that he can feel the pain of inflicting them on me.
ReplyDeleteI completely get that. You need someone else to be carrying some of this for you. I think that is so valid a reaction. It is quite sweet too as it is something he can do for you, I think sometimes the men can feel a little useless in this process.
ReplyDeletehey love don't be upset that you are struggling with the needles. to be honest sometimes I would just sit there, pen in hand and look at DH and say I just can't do it today and he would do it. a) he felt like he was doing something to share the burden and b) it really does get to much after awhile. Totally normal to feel that way. Big hugs love xxxx
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't be able to give myself shots either. I had to give myself an Imitrex injection once and it took me 30 minutes to get the courage to do it. I'm glad your husband is so willing to help you out!
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone. You have no idea how good your support feels.
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