Wednesday, May 2, 2012

the what ifs panic

Ok this is totally not me! I am a little panicky right now.

Earlier tonight I started to "feel my ovaries". I don't know how to explain it, just I could feel some pressure, strange sensations and just like they are bigger. I have never felt that before. Obviously because I have never been on injectables and never possibly had a bunch of follicles growing at the same time. This got me freaked out.

What if I have too many follicles and they have to cancel the cycle?!!! Even the thought of that is upsetting. Then I started thinking about if I have too many can they change it to one of those mini IVFs? I don't even know if they do that.

I told the Hubby my worries and he asked me why they would retrieve only 5 or so eggs. "Isn't that a surgical procedure? They wouldn't do all that for so little." I told him that I have heard of mini retrievals. He didn't like the idea. He also doesn't like the idea of wasting a cycle. Then he told me he didn't like talking abut the what ifs. "We will cross that bridge when we get to it" he says.

I am the kind of person who wants to know how long it will take to get to the bridge, how long is the bridge and what are our options for crossing?

I know, I know. I am totally getting ahead of myself. I have been so good for so long, some craziness had to show up some time. (at least it's not clomid crazies)

I know I need to relax and trust the Dr that she knows what she is doing with my doses. It's just so difficult. I need this to work!

I go back for an u/s and bloodwork in the morning so I guess I will talk to Dr G about my worries.

Has anyone out there had to cancel their IUI cycle due to too many follicles?

16 comments:

  1. I think the uncertainty is the hardest part of infertility. I hope your cycle goes exactly the way you had planned!

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  2. Let your doc know your worries.. but don't forget that it's normal to worry after all that we've been through, plus the hormones don't help either. I can always 'feel' my ovaries bloating when I'm on stims... literally like they're blowing up like a balloon inside - not comfortable but makes for plenty of eggs :) Thinking of you xo

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  3. I have no technical knowledge to help here, but I am sending big hugs. I know it is hard but try not to worry. I have everything crossed for you.

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  4. OH sweetie, I'm so sorry I am just now seeing this post. Your ovaries are going to feel big, heavy and full when on injectables. That feeling should relieve you, not make you panic, as it means you respond to the drugs!
    You might not like this but my doctor said the first cycle is a little hit or miss. Not even the best doctors are 100% sure how our bodies will react. Along the same line, you might explode with follies one month and then have next to nothing the following month. It's just hit or miss. All that to say, you can't control how these cycles will play out. Relax, take a deep breath and trust your doctor to take care of you and do the right thing for your body. All we can do doing cycles is to take it one day at a time.

    Now, allow me to cheer your little ovaries along so they make you two or three glorious eggs: Go ovaries go!

    xoxo

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  5. I did injectable iui three times. I felt my ovaries every time. The first time I only had on follicle. The third time I had three. The second time was a higher dose that the other two and I ended up with 8. They tried to convert me to ivf but my estrogen levels didn't keep up and we cancelled. I was given strict instructions not to try at home either. I'm not sure what number of follicles is the cut off, but when I was doing ivf they wanted at least six. Anyway, don't panic. You will feel even a few. Once I became aware of that feeling, I would even notice my ovaries on an unmediated cycle. Hang in there.

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  6. I know how you feel! I am a planner too. My last cycles I overstimmed with 4 follies and they cancelled me. They wanted to convert me to an IVF for $7000...which we didn't have. They had me trigger and forbade us DTD, but we did and now I'm PG. We still don't know how many are in there, but it was SO worth it! Good luck!

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  7. Where the hell is this bridge our husbands always want us to cross when we come to it? If we cross it now, we don't have to wait until we come to it! Duh!

    I hope it's just a couple big follies and nothing too crazy! Fingers crossed!

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  8. We never did injectibles IUIs, but I did have a medicated IUI cancelled as we had 5 ripe follies. We had a stand-in RE, but I think my regular RE would have given us the go-ahead. We were told not to try by ourselves (but we did), no luck for that cycle.

    I think all you can do is try not to think about it too much, wait for the u/s to see how you are developing, your RE will regulate your injection cycles based on how you are responding - wishing you the best of luck!

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  9. I was always afraid that when I started "feeling my ovaries" that I would have too many and have to cancel the cycle. It turns out that being able to feel them is a good thing.

    You could be growing some really small follicles they won't amount to anything along with some good, juicy ones.

    Hope your appointment goes well!

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  10. The what ifs can be contagious and multiply quickly. Injectables make you feel a lot different from the clomid right away. Some of it is due to the increased estrogen you get on some meds. It will feel like you've got a lot going on but that isn't always the case. If you are looking like you are overstiming, I think the dr will catch that with the monitoring and adjust your meds accordingly. I can personally say that I haven't ran into anyone that had an IUI cancelled due to too many follicles. I know it can happen but that's what the monitoring is for also. good luck on your appt.

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  11. Happened to me less than two weeks ago on our second IUI. I had about five mature follicles and my doctor freaked out because of my age (26) and the fact that I did get pg on my first IUI (though it was a chemical). So he cancelled. And believe me I was BLOWN. We even ignored our doc's instructions and decided to try on our own... only to have no temp rise and mid-cycle spotting which my RE explained was the follicles bursting on their own and getting reabsorbed! So I guess now I won't ovulate at all and he said to expect my period in a week.

    I asked when he cancelled if we could switch to an IVF and he said he would if we wanted but it wasn't ideal because I hadn't started with Lupron and he wouldn't recommend it, so we didn't. Now I'm waiting for AF to show so we can start IUI #1.

    Here's what I'd say: don't freak out yet. It is natural to feel your ovaries while on injectables. Doesn't mean you're producing a litter of eggs. Wait and see how tomorrow's appointment goes. I hope it will be just two or three super awesome eggs ready to pop!

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  12. I felt my ovaries every cycle I used drugs even if I only had 1 follicle. Weird.

    We almost had to cancel the cycle that we eventually got pregnant on. Originally we had 4 follicles and the doctors told us not to have sex. We got down to 3 follicles so we had sex and ended up with twins.

    If you have a lot of follicles and you don't want to waste a cycle, make sure you have a real serious talk with your husband about multiples, and whether or not you would be willing to do selective reduction. Would you be okay with carrying 4 babies? Look into the risks of triplets, quads, etc. Many people carry triplets and quads with little issue, but the babies are almost always born premature and need a lot of support and time in the NICU, not to mention the toll it takes on your body. Be as realistic with yourself as possible, even though you are really hoping to move forward there may be benefits to waiting it out if the risks are too high.

    That said, I hope you have 2 perfect follicles growing!!!

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  13. Thank you thank you! Your comments really helped me to relax.

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