i just want one thing to go easy for me

Hi everyone! I feel like it's been a month since I have been on and able to read posts. I am soooo behind on everyone's posts. I am not ignoring you! I have been running around then traveling, visiting family and a baby shower. I am still in North Carolina, but I finally got the chance to sit down and read and write.

Yesterday was my cousin V's baby shower. I have talked about her before. I haven't seen her since October and she is due in February so she went from an itty bitty bump to smuggling a watermelon. I thought I would be fine, but I wasn't. As soon as she walked in the door and I saw the bump this wave of panic swept over me. I kinda just mingled, ate tons of good food and had fun with my family. It was a nice party, just difficult. I think I did a pretty good job though, I didn't have to leave and cry!

I also think I held myself together very well because I was already on edge from Friday. Friday morning I went for progesterone blood work. I was told to expect a call around noon. I lost track of time running around and packing because we were leaving for the airport at 3:30. 4:00 rolls around and I was just going to call for my results when they called me while we were in the car. I was told my progesterone was low and they want me to take a pill. Since I was on my way to North Carolina I told the nurse I would call back in a min with the number of a pharmacy down there. It would have been nice if she told me she was calling while they were closed because I called back no more than a min later and I got the answering service. I left all the info and was told the on call nurse would call in the progesterone. So when we landed I called the pharmacy to make sure it was filled so I could pick it up on the way from the airport. Well, it wasn't filled and they had none of my info! I called the answering service again and told them this was my second call, it has been 4 hours since the first call and I was waiting for meds. They took my info again and said they would call it in. I called the pharmacy an hour later and there was nothing and they were closing for the night so I decided I would call back in the morning and it would be filled then.

I called in the morning and it still wasn't filled. I called the answering service again and yelled this time! Told them it was my 3rd call and I was supposed to start these meds the night before. They said all they could do was take another message. Talked to the manager and still all they could do was take a message and page the nurse. So that is what I did again. I got busy with decorating, setting up and then the party so I didn't get to call the pharmacy till 4 and guess what? No meds yet!!! I was furious!  I called the answering service again and was screaming at the top of my lungs in a back bedroom while there was still company telling them this was now my 4th call and I was supposed to start the meds the night before! I finally got a call back 2 hours later. The nurse was very nice and I explained everything to her. She apologized profusely and told me she had only gotten the last message. She also told me it was a new answering service and there have been a couple of complaints in the past 2 days and she will be putting in a big complaints for me. She called the pharmacy while I was on the phone and it was closed so I gave her another pharmacy that was open 24 hours and she called it in and apologized again for the situation. She was just so nice and reassuring.

I felt ok then. I would get the meds and start a day late. It would be ok. Just as I was going to leave to get them the pharmacy called and told me they needed a prior auth that would not get done till Tuesday or Wednesday since Monday is a holiday. At that point I completely broke down crying and hid in a bedroom. My Tante (aunt) saw me and tried to comfort me and asked me what was wrong. I didn't want to tell her because I decided I wasn't going to tell anyone I had the IUI. I know she knew we were having trouble conceiving even though I didn't tell her which is fine so she just thought the baby shower was too much for me. When she left my best cousins T and K came in to see if I was ok. I originally wasn't telling them anything, but ended up breaking down and telling them everything because I needed support from someone in person at the time. They were all excited and furious about the situation for me and told me if I had the money in my account then just I should just get the meds. They promised they wouldn't tell a soul and they would patiently wait for when I decided to tell them the results. I love those two!

I was texting the Hubby and he was telling me if this was going to be upsetting me so much then just go get the meds and we will do the auth after. The problem is it was $300! He kept pushing me to do it for my sanity because I promised myself I wouldn't google anything and in my mind if I didn't start the progesterone it could cause me to lose the pregnancy if I am. I didn't want to call the answering service again because who knows when or even if I would get a call back to ask! I gave in and got the meds. Started them last night and I feel so much better now. I am back to my basically calm self. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful understanding husband and family.

Wow, I just realized this was a long rambling post. I just had to get it all out. Thanks for reading. Now off to read all the posts I am so behind on. Having withdrawal again!

Oh, and I forgot to say I take the pills orally twice a day, but there is a chance they can make me dizzy so if that happens then I can insert them vaginally. I hope I don't have to do that.